Hi, I've recently posted here regarding my liking men, but I have a different issue regarding my wanting to be female. My issue with this is that I know that the very idea of me passing as one is a complete lost cause. When it comes to my body I can do things about it, my feet and hands may be slightly large, but a corset and some fake breasts and from the neck down I am vaguely passable, my issue comes to my face. I have a very manly face and there's literally nothing I can do about that, and I always promised myself that I wouldn't even attempt hormones or anything public unless I could pass as a female. So now I am feeling down about the fact that I can never be a female. Are there any females that can offer support in this?
Depends what you mean by "females" ... but yeah, the conditions you've set are pretty much the same as I've set for myself. I think I can manage staying male for the rest of my life, but it is not my preference if the choice was trivial. My body is fine too, perhaps except for my height, but I have small feet and hands, so no problem, hormones with fix the rest just fine. But I wonder how well I could pass facially. Not very prominent male traits, but they are there. They can do a lot with feminization surgery though, and it is remarkable how much little things can do. I have looked into that a bit from time to time on the net.
Thanks for the support, by females I did mean anyone who identifies, or wishes to identify as a girl, but yeah it's a difficult situation, though I've never really tried using makeup to cover anything.
Iskuri, Here are my two cents, although I know very little about the issue... It seems to me that you shouldn't negate the possibility of transitioning just because you think it won't "look good" on you. I mean, you might be right, but perhaps it's worth speaking to a doctor and exploring your options? On the other hand, I completely understand not wanting to walk down the street and have everyone recognize that you used to be a man. Perhaps you could experiment with a few girly things that aren't as obvious - painting your nails, sleeping in a woman's nightgown, wearing concealer/lip gloss. Maybe going a fraction of the distance would give you clarity on how badly you want to go the whole way?
Me neither, only barely played around with it. Makeup doesn't interest me much. I'd be one of those girls wearing minimal makeup. But makeup can fix some of it. Problem with hormones is that they can grow things larger, but not remove things. Oestrogen grows your breasts, as both genders have them, and testosterone grows the bones in your skull. Going the other way requires surgery ...
My supportive friend is going to help me try stuff with make up and see what we can do, it's always worth giving a try.
I never wear makeup. Some of the reason is because I'm allergic to a lot of it and the other reason is because it annoys me to take the time to put it on.
In addition to makeup & hormone therapy, there is also a surgical procedure known as Facial Feminizing Surgery or FFS. From Wikipedia: Facial feminization surgery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia I'm just beginning to transition now. Even tho I'm only in the research/planning stage of things, but this is something I already know that I plan on getting. It may be hella expensive I think, but having to save money/get a loan weighed against my being happy for the rest of my life, I'm willing to do what I need to. I don't know if this is an avenue you want to consider, but it definitely is an available option out there! Check out YouTube, there are some videos of some women who have gone thru the procedure, it should give you an idea on how things work out. Hope this helps!
I believe there is facial reconstruction surgery available, but it has its own risks and is a long-term solution, rather than an immediate one. In the near term, I'd suggest doing your best to remove all facial hair (electrolysis is a permanent solution, but it takes time), and remember that there are ciswomen with masculine faces, if you pass from the neck down, have long hair, and no beard or mustache, you're likely to be thought of as a masculine woman, rather than a man.
No problem Daisy1! I know that a couple of people I've chatted with on another support site have just go on that i don't need it, but I want it anyway. For me, I want all of it, it's going to take a lot of money & time, but I just know in the end it will be worth it all. Based on some of the YouTube videos I've already seen, it can really be wonderful in its results, but Liam is right, it does have its risks. As far as I see it tho, it's not a long-term solution for me, it's just correcting what nature messed up on the first time around...
Thanks for all of the advice guys, this all really interesting to read about! I'm going to attempt some makeup stuff later on and see what I can do. I already discovered the magical combination of corsets and poofy skirts to hide my figure so who knows if it can help. The surgery is interesting but as I said, there's no way I am considering any transition until i can pass.
