Training Gaydar

My hypothesis on the matter is that that there are varying degrees of "gayness". Lets say on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 Being completly straight and 10 being omg gay. I'd say I fall somewhere between a 6 and a 7, depending whom im with. Its my belief that most people cant figure out whos gay if there farther up the gay scale. So a 7 say couldnt pick out a 3, put a 3 could eaisily pick out a 7. I dont know how much everyone else thinks of this but its just what I've noticed.

The problem for me is that I'm attacted to basiclly attracted to staight boys that are gay. If that makes any sense, so its REALLY hard for me to figure out whos gay that I would like.

 

For me I don't really think I have any tells (or if I do they are very subtle). Everyone I came out to was left in shock even my gay friends that I hung out for for a while thought I was straight until I made mention of it. I hang out usually with a bunch of straight guys and I have no piercings and I don't act feminine. If I have a tell it would have to be that I can be a little flamboyant but not in a feminine or stereotypical way its hard to explain I just make it my own style.

 

Oh god, where to start?

I don't dress gay-ly, (is that a word?) strangely enough. I tend to wear jeans and a band T-shirt......school band, not a cool band.
But I am pretty flamboyant......I use my hands when I talk, I say like ALOT, and I kinda walk like a girl......T-T
Oh! And I wear rainbows! Mostly cuz they're amazingly pretty!!! XD
I also hang out with alot of girls, and have never said "she's hot" or "pussy". That alone should be enought to tell the whole world that I'm gay........and it kinda did.
I didn't get to have anyfun when I was coming out, cuz everyone could already tell.....

 

My gaydar is spot on. It has never failed me.

The only thing I do is.. pluck my eyebrows. That's just keeping myself neat. Other then that... I'm off the gaydar. :-D

 

I like to think I'm good at figuring out the gay guys who are non-obvious but then there's precious little opportunity to verify my assumptions.

I am less confident with women... maybe totally unconfident?

There are some obvious things with guys who aren't otherwise standardly obvious. I think the best advice I ever got was someone who said you can often tell a lot by who people won't look at or talk to. As in, you can tell a lot from the negative, missing parts as well as the positive, present parts.

Like seeing if a guy doesn't check out women. Obviously it's not an exact science but if you watch who people don't notice, that can tell you a lot. Or at least watch how they notice people.

That's another big thing: how people interact non-verbally in groups of strangers. Gay guys are often much more aware of their physical surroundings than other guys because a gay guy is likely to be much more aware of his personal safety than a straight guy. That's because straight guys don't expect to be assaulted randomly whereas gay guys are usually aware of at least the possibility of being bashed.

While masculinity always seems like a big act to me, it is definitely much more of an actual act for people who are of the "I'm so straight-acting" type. So that is something that can be picked up on, too.

But I think the thing I rely on the most is that non-verbal sense of recognition that tends to happen in the sexual dimension (which is probably why I have no confidence about figuring out women's sexuality). Even if you encounter someone you are not attracted to, there is this... assessment people do (or at least a lot of people do) when they first become aware of people. Essentially it's a very basic kind of "would I do that person" and I think all but the most sexually repressed people express that in some way.

A straight guy is not going to have any indication of this type of assessment when encountering another guy. A guy who is at all attracted to guys will. And I think because it's such a subtle thing (as opposed to lisps, hand-talking, skipping, patterns of speech, how you directly interact with others of both genders, etc.), a lot of people don't know how to hide it because it's usually very unconscious. And I would venture a guess that people who are otherwise non-stereotypical might be particularly easy to spot using this method because all the stereotypes are so focused on explicit behaviour.

In summary, non-straight guys just notice me in a way straight guys don't. And I don't mean "oh I'm so hot so they all want me all the time." I just mean there is an assessment (be it good or bad) going on there that is not present in the purely heterosexual male.

 

yes! i thought that it was only me who saw that. i wondered if i was making it up, haha. it makes me sad when i see it though because i cant really tell if any of them are gay and i really want to know. there is one out lesbian in my school, a bi girl and a bi guy and thats it. it would be nice to know some other gays, but people at my school are so homophobic so any gays are most likely to stay in the closet.

 

i dont think i ever do anything gay...ish. hell i even went out with a girl last year (mistake, last desparate attempt at denile, ended up losing a freind, broke it off of course). although i dont play sports like soccer or football (i dont play with balls :lol i do judo which is pretty much on the same masculinity level as those. i guess the only tell i have is at home when the victoria secret commercials go on i dont automatically glue myself to the T.V. to look at the almost-naked women. i have to remind myself to look when i'm infront of my parents so that they dont suspect anything :icon_wink other than that i think i'm pretty much waaay below the gaydar

 

I want a gaydarrrrrrr

I set everyone's gaydar off

 

Well, I used to set off some gaydar by saying "oh [insert hot female celebrity] is so hot, I'd do her" and then I realized that I wasn't just kidding and then I kinda stopped so that people wouldn't suspect anything.

That was the only thing I did that would set off anyone's gaydar.

I'm pretty sure 98% of everyone I come in contact with think I'm straight.

 

umm... If thrs a hot guy around when I'm talking to someone I "may" get distracted and forget what I'm talking about.

umm, what else... I'll generally avoid making gay jokes if other people are

also I don't like being touched by other guys... unless thr cute

oh and most of my friends are guys so I must be weird or something

 

My friends call me asexual, mostly because I make no indication of attraction to anybody.

 

I'm with you on the on the no touching policy, I can't stand it when my friends do anything of the sort. As far as my gaydar, I fail. And as far as any tells that I may have, I can do an awesome lisp, but that's not how I normally talk, other than that, anyone I've told has be "Really, I couldn't tell."

 

I have the same problem at my school, there is one gay lad apart from me but I dont really fancy him, but apart from that theres no one and my school can be really homophobic

 

No one knew I was gay till i told them apart from this one kid who guesed it but apart from that no one

 

Things about me that may set off gaydar:
-I tend to dress more on the masculine side, and have a little bit more muscle than other girls because I lift weights.
-I don't even pretend I like guys-- when the topic comes around to guys or any gushing, I'll leave.
-I'm not awkward around guys, because I have no interest in them (duh). Attractive females, on the other hand... :redface:
-Whenever I meet a girl, I try to make eye contact as much as possible to gauge if she's interested.
-I flirt with my girl friends a lot-- jokingly, of course. :rolleyes:

 

on average, nothing i do seems to imply it. im a jeans and tee guy and im not that effeminate. >_> definitly dont set off gaydar.

add me to this list too.

 

The rainbow ribbon, rainbow Obama button, and "equal rights are not special rights" button on my backpack; my rainbow necklace and ring; and the fact I am in qsa. I am pretty femme so I am not too obvious.

 

I was at my locker and the girl who has the one beside mine (on the side the door opens too) was there too, most of the time we are not there are the same time but we were that time, I accidentally opened it too far, and said sorry twice, then when I was trying to put my backpack into it (something I normally can do just fine) I pushed it open again, I probably said sorry 6 more times...

You could say that happens to me too, lol :icon_redf

 

I agree with the facebook thing. No interested in filled in usually means I'm not out in my experience. But I am a flirt girl-on-girl. But no one's ever guessed about me, I don't think. I'm at a Deaf uni so hugging and touching is very much a Deaf thing, so I don't think that outs me

 

Well I had facebook when I was straight so I just left it has interested in women