Hi all :smilewave allow me to briefly introduce myself, i'm a 36 year old male and have alway's termed myself as being straight or whatever that means. I have had many relationships with women and am very atracted towomen in general yet I have recently started a new job and theres this guy I used to run in to in the smokers room, (have recently stopped smoking ). On seeing him the first thought that went through my head was exactly this, f*** he's hot! The second thought was, if I was ever going to expeiment then it would have to be definaitly be with him! Okay enough said about that, on getting home that evening I felt confused.... what just came over me :help: I shook my sholders and tried to put the thought to one said telling myself the idea was crazy. Two weeks pass.... I get transferred to a different team within the work place and who turns out tobe my teamleader :eek: yep,you guessed it... the hot guy from the smokers room. He invites me to his office for a chat, I walk in shake hands and take a seat, we start talking work related stuff at first and then personal stuff.... He starts off asking me what I've done prior to joining the company, personal situation, married or not etc. My reply is swift, I'm a single dad, have a 12 year old child... an expression of "oh" wow leaves his mouth, he seems suprised (I look 26 not 36, so I get this expression often from different people, I'mused to it). He then proceeds to look at my arms, I have my sleeves rolled up and my tattoos are showing, he seems very keen to ask allabout them. Then it's my turn to ask questions...ofcourse the first thing I ask is... so, do you have any children yourself? (was guessing he was close to my age). To this he sort of blew me away with his response as I wasn't expecting it, he replied, no, I don't have any children, something which isn't likely to happen in the near future either. okay I thought to myself, this guy isn't into kids, no problem... and before I can correct myself I find myself in deffensive mode and say.. why? U don't like kids?:tantrum: ..... to which he smiles and say's no, don't get me wrong i love kids, theyre great, I have a niece and two nephews. The reason is simple, he looks at me with a proud face and replies, I'm gay. My jaw drops in amazement, my mouth goes dry and I fumble and stammer for a bit. (thought goes through my head, oh... my..god... the hot guy's gay!) He then proceeds to ask me where my accent's from, (I'm English and have a Cockney accent, London area for those who don't know what a Cockney accent is). He replies,oh god I love England, please feel free to try out your Cockney rhyming slang on me anythime, I love it! That was that..... On my way home I kept going over and over the whole conversation in my head, telling myself he's hot and cute one minute, then in the next instance I'm fighting myself, and asking myself what just came over me, am I right in the head... I'mnot gay, nor bi... am I?:help: Didn't sleep much that night and the next day at work I ran intohim several times, stood close to him several times, I could smell him, god his smell :rolle: , the way he speaks... amazing, I'm getting a feeling in my stomach which I have only ever felt when crushing on a woman... Anyway's ..... to cut a long story short i'm now debaiting and trying to find out whether I like him or whether it'sjust a crush or phase I'm going through.... Does he like me, was he hitting on me or am i imagining it, how doI discretely let him know I'm interested, as the work situation is quite delicate... there's no rule within our companies pollicies to stop employees dating, so thats not an issue here.... experiences or infor would be very welcome thank you :icon_bigg
You sound at least bi I don't believe in "phases" when there's feelings backing it up a phase is painting your nails black becuse it's the cool thing to do there's nothing easy about being attracted to the same gender at least now it's getting easier but I thought mine was a phase because that's what I was being fed by friends but it's def not and who cares if it is you work through it right? Follow your heart
Thanks for your reply sexwax, you've given me food for thought,:icon_wink working through it is a definate thing that would need to be done.... #ponders in silence, what to de next :eusa_doh:
What I would so is try to find ways to compliment him and also comment on celebrities maybe like "Wow *insert celebrity name* is a good looking fella" so he will question it and probably make a move on you or ask you
I guess you find your guy... you know how all those guys I've slept in the past called me... the only man they attracted to. That doesn't mean you are bi or anything. It just means sometimes chemistry works that way. I don't classify people with their sexual adventures. What matters is heart, if you will ever fall in love with him then you can start calling yourself Bi. Anyway at least you have hardest part of the problem out of the way, you know he is gay. You can be honest and up front with him by telling him you have attracted to him and want to see where this attraction leads.
Thanks foryour reply MMF, will give this a thought :icon_bigg ---------- Post added 19th Mar 2014 at 01:00 PM ---------- Thanks foryour reply White Knight, this is for me, the first time I have felt atracted to a guy... guess I'm not alone out there then! :icon_bigg Guess I'm just biding my time at the minute... comming to terms and accepting who I am then seeing where things lead I guess...
Go for it. Only way to find out if you really like him or if it's just a weird moment is to get closer to him. Ask him out, if you want.
So saw him alot today, plenty to talk about.... we had a staff meeting with a presentation given by two guys in suits, was clear from his comments (afterwards) that he's not into tall guys in suits .... had a briefing afterwards just the two of us... the moment to let on was there... what did I do... Nothing :S ... think I was pushing myself a bit, he was asking personal stuff.. think he's testing the water? I mean can a gay guy sence if an outwardly straight gay is inwardly gay or atracted to him?
If he has good gaydar he can I know I know when someone is closeted or questioning that's for sure and most girls I have been with identified as "straight" but are super closeted
Don't wait for him to make a move, just say 'want to go for a drink after work' or something similar. It doesn't have to be a 'date', but it gives you a chance to be closer.
So was gonna keep u's posted on the latest... not that much has happened apart from the fact that he clocked me staring and gazing at him from my desk..... locked eyes for a few seconds and i looked away as did he ... :eusa_doh: deep in thought and in aw of him from a distance ....... this is allnew to me ...put me in a room of women and I'm quite the charmer .... this on the on the other hand ... new ground to me
This is adorable! <3 You totally need to invite him out for drinks/coffee some time outside of work. Have a chat. Heck, even invite him to meet your kids! A gay guy who loves kids would probably see you having kids as a super awesome bonus
Thanks for your replies guy's, much apreciated. Working up the courage to ask him out for a drink sometime ...... something dawned on me though... I have caught him doing the same thing to me as I did to him yesterday.... staring at me, soon as I look up he looks away swiftly... didn't give it a second thought to be quite honest..... Untill yesteday when I caught myself doing the same..... what say you's ?
Well I say he's gay and if you're attractive then he's going to look just like anyone else would gay or straight us gay people know a straight person can change we all were "straight" at one point