Dang, for the past two years, I've been single. This was when I was in denial and didn't think I was gay. I just didn't want a girlfriend. It was wayyyy too much work to put on a mask, hang around her, then try to get off in bed with her and all that. But anyway, since I recently have started to come to grips with my own desires and the fact that I am pretty damn gay, I keep seeing signs in these nice guys and I just want to pounce..But EVERY SINGLE GUY I see like this is straight as an effing arrow. I don't even know any gay people! The frustration is driving me crazy at the moment.:tantrum: I'm sure It will pass, but at the moment, I'm getting frustrated and dissapointed because It seems like what I need and want is kind of an impossibility, I guess I know that's not true, but it just feels that way.
I know how you feel. I know exactly two gay women -- one is in a relationship, and the other...long story short, we're not talking anymore. Before I realized I was a lesbian, I had no interest in a relationship because men did not interest me at all. Now I really wish I had some chance of getting a girlfriend. I am dealing with it in three ways. First, I'm distracting myself, mostly with video games and math. Secondly, I'm expanding my social network. I figure the more people I meet, the greater the odds of me meeting LGBT people. Lastly, I remind myself that it appears that as long as they're out and neither a hermit nor a complete jerk, most gay people eventually find relationships. How they do it, I don't know. But they do.
Oh wow. I know gays, girls and guys, and that was before I was out at all. And Im more leaning to being a STRAIGHT male, gee. Why ya all not come to Portland and meet all the nice people?
I have this problem, but with girls. And I live in the middle of nowhere!!! Seriously. There is also a lot of ignorance and hate where I live- it's a small town...
From when I was in Asheville (which was prolly 10+ years ago) there was a larger lesbian population than gay men, but there did seem to be a good number of gay men there as well. You might check out UNCA and Warren-Wilson to see if they have LGBT events. Often, even for non-students, GSA and similar campus groups are very open and accepting to college-age people.
This rings true with me. I did meet a gay guy though... but he kinda found another person and I didn't move in quick enough. I was scared, I guess... we haven't talked in a little while. But now I'm noticing guys more and I just want to be around guys more. I'm 24 and it feels like I'm going through puberty again. Ugh, I guess that's what happens when you repressed every instinct for 11 years and then just let it all out at once. I kinda feel like I just wouldn't be popular in the gay parts of town and I really don't feel like getting rejected right now... again kinda. I dunno, I feel vunerable. Btw, ditto on not really knowing any gay people. Just this one guy I'm afraid to talk to and no other gay people I can ask for advice or comfort or whatever. It's kinda overwhelming. Ugh, if I could do it over again, I'd be out of the closet at birth and made sure everybody knew.
Some of them that *seem* straight may not be. I'm not but you'd never know that just by looking/talking to me. We're called "straight-acting" though I don't like the term because, well, I'm not acting.
I know it can seem very frustrating right now, but getting to know people gets a ton easier when you start being out of the closet since then and only then are you able to put yourself in the market. It all starts by getting to know friends tho. Like Chip suggested, try seeing if there is a support or social group around your area that you could attend
I have been single for 3 years now and I'm also pretty tired of it. I know a few gay guys, but none of them know about me and they are ALL in relationships. It's easy tell me to join LGBT groups in my area, but as far as I know, there aren't any. But there has to be someone out there, so just keep hoping.
Hell i've been single until I was 29!!!! What a shocker! Thought I'd never get anyone or even anything. Boy oh boy was I soooo wrong!
Straight men are darn annoying sometimes... Not because there's too many, but because a lot of them are far superior to any gay men I know in every way, yet unlike the latter they're out of bounds! Hotter, kinder, funnier etc.
Hey Chip, I just moved here to asheville from a tiny little town that's really really southern. I believe asheville should be a great place for me right now. If I can get up the courage, I think I'll check out about those events you were talking about.
