Today we got "the look"

I would not say that the most vocal ones are the ones who want to be doing what you are. There just isn't evidence to support that and it's more than likely you are just that disliked.

And while it is easy to say don't look or whatever, the fact is that it's still a sign that society isn't there and trying to ignore it doesn't work (has it ever to be honest?). It was a catch 22 no matter what, if you confront or leave then you let them have the win because they got a reaction. If you say nothing then that is pretty much sanctioning it as well. Either way, it just reinforces being gay as second class. If you were straight it would just be "get a room" (which isn't as bad).

To be honest this is one thing I didn't like when I had a boyfriend. Even though we didn't do much in terms of PDA (if any) I was scared of any such displays because I was afraid of what others would say.

 

No, what Chip says is true.

I was the loudest anti-gay voice in school and I turned out to be queer as hell. It's absolutely true.

 

Not all closet gays were once the loudest anti gay voice for sure. I mean I wasn’t at all. But we do often dislike in others the thing we hate about ourselves. So I totally see how this is the case with homophobes. I’ve always said they just need a little vitamin “d” hahahahaha

 

Aloha, Kevin

I would like to add just one thing. Please don't let others (especially those as irrelevant as onlookers in a swimming pool) define your happiness. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they bugged you. And if they did, don't carry it, drop it. Life is too short, there are not enough afternoons at the pool, and there is not enough time with boyfriends to waste time worrying about yahoos.

Be happy.

With aloha,
Milan

 

I've had similar experiences. In fact, my boyfriend and I don't typically do PDAs for that very reason. Thankfully, I live about an hour outside of a big city, so although it's a small town, I guess you could say it's a bit more progressive than your average 'burbs, which is probably why this type of incident has only happened a few times in the six years that my boyfriend and I have been together. But I have always been someone who's self-conscious and has low self-esteem, so it would really bother me for someone to jeer at my boyfriend and me stealing a quick kiss or holding hands in public.

As you can see, the consensus is to just "do you" and ignore the haters. It's great advice if you can take it, but it sounds like you are similar to me in that you can't handle the taunts, even when most people would consider them easy to dismiss. So if you can't just ignore them, then my advice, unfortunately, is to avoid making public displays of affection when you're in public. Or learn to read the room: Are you around a lot of families? Are you in a small town? Are there senior citizens around? Even though their jeering is more of a bad reflection on them than your gayness is on you, the sad truth is that most people still think homosexuality is something we should be ashamed of. I wish I had better advice to give you, but if you can't handle the negative reactions, then the only way to prevent those kinds of reactions is to never give them anything to react to in that way. It's absolutely unfair and it's not an ideal solution, but it's an effective one.

 

Can't control how other react and you should just ignore them.

 

It’s easy to say that on an online forum but not everyone is like that. The fact is some can’t and some do let it get to them. It’s not ideal but sometimes it would be better to just not risk it.

I wouldn’t know though since I’m not a big fan of PDAs, I don’t know what I would do

 

To be clear, I'm not saying he should be ashamed. Unfortunately, even though things have gotten better, there are still a lot of judgmental, small-minded, and even cruel people in the world. If he's the type of person who can't easily ignore someone ridiculing him, then the only other solution is to not give them a reason to ridicule him.

 

Something similar happened to me in a pool where me and my boyfriend were criticised by a homophobe.

I wanted to leave as I could no longer have any fun because the mod had dropped. My boyfriend made us stay and defend ourselves and in the end the homophobes left (stormed out) and we left soon after.
Really my boyfriend was just being stubborn but maybe he was correct? I dont know. Maybe I would feel worse about the incident if we left immediately but at the time I just wanted to leave.

 

I would argue things are different but not better. In fact in someways worse.

 

OK, as someone who has been out for almost 30 years at this point, I just have to say now you're just being silly...

 

I’m not though.

 

Dude, before everything even remotely gay had to be hidden behind code-words and secret meeting spots just to avoid getting your life entirely ruined by it. Now you can walk through any major city and find gay nightclubs right on main streets advertising male strippers and drag queens, and nothing happens because of it. An entire chunk of the porn industry is dedicated solely to gay porn which is freely searchable online with no consequences, when before having a picture of a naked dude would get you beat up.

Some of the most significant gay related court cases these days are things as minor as whether or not someone can refuse to bake you a cake for being gay, instead of whether they can fire you, throw you out of the military, or jail you for it.

We have so many rights at this point that large segments of straight people complain about the gay agenda and how gays are held to lower standards than others because everyone is afraid of a discrimination lawsuit if one gets fired or mistreated. They're literally afraid to discriminate now when once it was common practice and expected.

How can you possibly say that isn't an improvement?

 

Easier said than done - but they, and others like them, don’t deserve the energy that is spent even thinking about them.

If I were in that situation i would do my best just to ignore them. To “nothing” them. They aren’t worth any more than that.