To people who suffer from "HOCD"

I want to be cautious here:

HOCD does not exist as a standalone disorder. Nobody has constant obsessive, intrusive thoughts with compulsions to constantly check, over and over, if one is gay... but without any other similar obesssions or compulsive intrusive thoughts.

That said, there are a skyrocketing number of new diagnoses of OCD, which is characterized by extremely disruptive, intrusive and uncontrollable thoughts, or uncontrollable desires to act out in repetitive behaviors. A common example is locking and unlocking doors over and over, flipping light switches on and off, not stepping on cracks... but in a way where there is deep, uncontrollable anxiety if these behaviors are not carried through. Now... some people have, in addition to the previously listed compulsive behaviors, a compulsive desire to test if one is gay, for example to watch gay porn and masturbate to it, even though there's zero arousal or attraction. Or an uncontrollable urge for a guy to constantly check to see if he is aroused after seeing a cute guy on the street (when there's zero evidence of this having ever happened.)

So IF one happens to have OCD, and IF that OCD happens to manifest as, among other things, a fixation on sexual orientation, then one can have an OCD that includes, as part of a bigger picture, a focus on whether or not s/he is gay.

But that is the *only* way in which the HOCD label is accurately used. And even there, it clearly isn't "HOCD"; it's OCD that happens to include concern about homosexuality.. We don't refer to "locking locks OCD" or "not stepping on cracks OCD", and thus we don't have "homosexual OCD".

What the OP is talking about is a bogus diagnosis brought to you by the asswipes on the religiious right, who use it as a phony form of denial that one is actually gay.

Don't confuse the two. They're nothing alike.

 

OCD certainly exists. HOCD as a standalone disorder does not, any more than "locking locks OCD" or "not stepping on cracks OCD" or "flipping light switches OCD" exist as separate disorders.

So most commonly, what you see is someone with the collection of symptoms consistent with OCD, of which an obsessive focus on sexual orientation is one manifestation.

I hope that helps.

 

What you're describing sounds like it is severely impacting your life in a negative way. Have you seen a therapist to discuss this? This is clearly a situation that requires a formal diagnosis and probably a combination of therapy and medication.

 

Arrgh. You're in the UK, which separates 'psychologists' from 'CBT therapists'. I understand your frustration. It sounds like you need more than simple CBT. You probably also need medication, at least to start.

You won't be able to get a clear answer on your sexual orientation until you first get the OCD under control. So that's going to be the first thing. I'd talk to your CBT therapist and discuss what options you have, and whether you can get a referral for evaluation by a psychiatrist. That would seem like a sensible step.

 

Once the OCD is truly under control, your entire perception and view of the world will change. You'll be able to look at situations more objectively. And so things like sexual orientation, that are the source of incredible stress and anxiety now, will simply become a whole lot clearer.

 

First, re-read what I said above. You won't be able to make any sense of anything, apply any logic, or get any sort of sensible answer unless and until you get the OCD under control. It's completely pointless to try and explore the sexuality issue meaningfully until you do so.

Generally, no. A few may loudly protest that they find it gross, but for the most part it's just "Meh, that does nothing for me."

But again... don't try to make sense of any of this until you've dealt with the OCD. It will just be an exercise in frustration for you that won't lead you anywhere.

 

This isn't a question that can be meaningfully answered until you get the OCD under control.

 

If you solve the OCD problem, you'll solve the constant questioning and analysis. That's a byproduct of the thought disorder.

 

Again, you can't get a meaningful answer to the question until you resolve the OCD issue.