I'm tired of feeling like my life isn't worth anything. I feel like such a freak sometimes like I don't have a reason to live. I liked these two girls and it all turned sour. I was in class one time and a friend of mine was telling me a story about these "two dykes" who kept hitting on her and her friend. I felt so uncomfortable. My mom thinks I'm a little boy and says she's the victim. People at school keep referring to me as a stud. They say that since I tend to like the girly girls that that makes me the boy in the relationship. I admit I do sometimes wear boy clothes but that's because I feel most comfortable in them. I've never been in a relationship before because I'm just a freak in their eyes. I'm sure to most people I'm just a dyke even though I don't fit the stereotype of a "dyke". I just don't see how my life could be worth it. Sometimes I don't even care about ever becoming happy because the pain is too great. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years so I can tell you from first hand knowledge that it doesn't get better. At least for me it doesn't.
Chewbaca, I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but in my opinion they are less than you. Bullies are cowards and really they are just afraid of someone being different. So they lash out as a way to make themselves feel better. Have you seen a therapist for your anxiety and depression? If not, please give it a try. You can also discuss this situation with them and see if there are some solutions you can try. And I know the pain of which you speak. Sometimes I feel like I am unworthy of ever finding happiness because I am "wrong" or a "freak." Don't let that get stuck in your head. You are an individual and you deserve to find love. It may not come soon, but I'm sure you'll meet someone who will respect you (and probably will have had similar experiences.) I hope this helps a little. (*hug*) Sebby
