Biobabe - let me start this with a disclaimer, I am not a medical professional, everything I have to offer is based solely upon personal experience, personally witnessing and pure emotional response. As a survivor of a chemo regimen now described as "barbaric" and having watched not only two of the people I've loved most in the world suffer thru fruitless torture by chemo, but I am also a former program director and patient liaison for the ACS, I have some very strong opinions regarding the administration of chemo to terminal patients. I don't want to climb up on a soap box, nor do I want to unduly influence a stranger's end of life decision making and care, so I'll simply ask you to help your parents carefully consider the toll the treatment and side effects will take on them both, the cost vs benefit - what's the goal, and the pain it may cause not only your dad, but the rest of you as well, watching the man you've always known diminish before your eyes. If you want to hear any more specific details or observations, feel free to put a message on my wall. There are no easy answers and truly your dad needs to choose whichever path will grant he and your mom the most peace. I've been the one in your shoes with my own dad, and even though it's been more than four years since he passed, it's still a gaping wound on my heart. My thoughts and best wishes are with you. Be strong!(*hug*)
Just got off the phone with the radiologist (will talk to the oncologist on Monday, hopefully). Pancreatic, small intestine, bile duct, and liver involvement and the tumor is rather large. He said it is usually grave by this point. Talked to his regular doctor this morning and we are talking nursing home and possibly hospice care after he gets out of the hospital. Not sure yet. Hoping to talk to a social worker on Monday when the pathology reports come back (they had to be sent off). I would say no to chemo at this point. He has dementia and his quality of life has already suffered quite a bit. I don't even know if he knows he has cancer. He just knows that he is sick. He will be 80 in two weeks. I want his last few months on earth to be decent.
Bless you for that. There is no point in putting someone through that for a couple extra months. He deserves some dignity and peace. When my grandmother was dying, they cut off the chemo and she stayed at my aunt's house. My mom (who was already dead by then) and 3 of her 4 sisters were nurses, and they all took turns watching Grandma. It was a very peaceful, loving way for her to end her days. I wish your father the same. And speaking as the main caregiver for my own father as he declined, I can tell you that your care for him will give you great peace as well. It's the right thing to do.
Just got news that the first woman I had any kind of relationship with is in hospice with cancer. :tears: :bang:
