Those moments when you freeze down and nothing comes to your mind and only a few minutes later you realize what you should have said. Me and my friend (who I came out to a couple of weeks ago) were watching a picture with some guards in uniform, told to be "Europe's most fashionable guards". She looked at them and said "nah, I don't like it. Why do they say it's fashionable? I think it looks gay." At this point I was thinking what to say but in the same time it was so unexpected and my mind just froze. There was an awkward silence and I was sort of hoping that she will make the connection that "she is gay so maybe I should think a bit more about throwing around <this or that is gay> type sentences" or something. But she didn't say anything and then I said something stupid and we changed the subject. But I ended up feeling frustrated and feeling kind of alienated from my friend. It's just so difficult for me to do this "educating people" thing about gay-related stuff. But if I don't say anything, nothing will change...
I would talk to her sometime about how when people say "that's so gay" it really bothers you, and you can mention lightly about that specific incident when she said that. If she's your friend, she'll care and be more careful about what she says next time.
What to say next time: YOU KNOW WHAT ALSO LOOKS GAY. ME. ME, BITCH. Was she literally saying that the fashion looked homosexual? Because it's OK (although very limited) not to be attracted to what one might consider a homosexual aesthetic in fashion. I'm from the middle of 'Merica, and I understand the appeal of men who are cluelessly hetero, in ill-fitting flannel and baseball caps and the like. Her saying so is super tacky, but it's not a direct attack. If she was saying that gay = stupid, then yeah, she was being an ass.
Yeah, something like that. Which is not that bad but it's heavy stereotyping which I hate. Looks like I'm surrounded by people who live in stereotypes. I know the temptation is everywhere, in this society everything has to be in its own box with a label and its most "typical" characteristics on it, but I hate it. I feel like an alien around all these people who think stereotypes are real and representative. And not just one of the ways to look at the world ( a very destructive one). I know it wasn't an attack, it was just ignorance and in the past I even used to say things like that, which I'm not proud of... Anyway, I would like to feel more comfortable with answering to these kinds of stuff, if possible. Now I just feel super awkward in situations like this.
