This is a post I never thought I'd make, but after the Colorado Springs shooting, I started questioning things I haven't been allowed to because of my upbringing. I was AMAB; I came out as nonbinary (preferred they/them pronouns), but I'm starting to think I might be trans, which scares the hell out of me considering the recent climate in the US. I'm starting to lean more towards she/her and my desire to look pretty, wear makeup and feminine clothes is strong. Either way, I'm definitely gender-confused. I'm 28 years old, I'm scared and I don't know what to do, so I decided to come here and ask for advice. Am I nonbinary? Am I trans? I don't know what to do and I'm scared. Please give me some encouraging posts.
Hello, sweetheart! My name is Lydia, I'm in a very similar age group and I'm both out and proud, as both transgender and pansexual! I'm so glad to meet you, I'm so glad you're here, regardless of your ultimate identifications, and I'm here to offer both my welcome and advice! My standard advice, personally, is to encourage people to speak with professionally trained therapists and begin gathering an immediate support community. This is so you can understand where these feelings originate while having an existing group of people ready to embrace you independent of where they come from. Just don't let them control you, instead find one that supports you! I know "Get help" can often be a slur against people who are questioning (hence LGBTQ), but you live a culture hostile to anyone who asks these kinds of questions; if "get help" is offensive, then please find your allies! Regardless, I open my arms to you, I welcome you to my story if you want to hear it, and I'll offer my advice anytime! Welcome to Empty Closets!
SooooConfused.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary! *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Gender Identity and Expression”, there are people there who have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you. I'm sure that you have watched trans youtubers...but just in case, here are some favorites of mine that you might like: MtF: Victoria Rose, Riley J. Dennis Renna Williams, Alexamarilla, Robin jaspers. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message. .....David
It could be that you're trans feminine, so nonbinary that leans to the feminine side of the spectrum (that's the best way I can think of explaining it at the moment). You could be nonbinary and currently on a feminine "kick" so to speak, or a trans woman after all. I can't see inside your head so I'm not sure. My best advice is to try gender affirming things out in private and see how that makes you feel, then after about a month or so try doing those things out somewhere (safely) and see how you feel then. Just take your time with it. And welcome to EC!
I like @TinyWerewolf 's suggestions about your possible location on the gender spectrum (I can't drill down that deep). But what I do know is that LBGT+s constantly have to adapt to a world that is unpredictable and frequently antagonistic to us. So there is nothing hypocritical about adjusting how your present yourself, if it makes you feel safer. If you feel more authentic in a feminine appearance, you can continue to practice that in private, but restrain it in public, until your circumstances change. Yes, that's a compromise, but you don't have to feel like a fraud, if you see it as one phase of a longer journey. It doesn't have to stop you from eventually discovering who you truly are - and then reorganizing your life so that you can safely be that person all day, everyday.
First off, welcome to EC. We're glad that you're here. Second: I relate to questioning my gender as I discovered I was transgender in my late to mid 20's. For a good majority of my life, I didn't know what the words transgender or dysphoria meant. When I discovered what these words meant, I realized I related to them and they perfectly described how I felt off growing up. I never quite felt comfortable in feminine things...and I hated skirts, makeup, and girly clothes in general. Point is, I am glad I transitioned when I did, even if it was later in life. The thought of living life as a gender that I wasn't didn't feel right to me at all. My point is, sometimes it takes time for us to discover who we truly are. I believe you could be transgender. It's a real high possibility. What pronouns would you like us to use? Take some time to explore yourself. However you feel and identify is valid. Hope this helps some.
