Hello people, I hope you are all doing very well! Me, I now back to feeling pretty content with myself, after one of the worst afternoons I've had in my life: (By typing this I might start to relive the feelings but I really want to get this out and listen to your opinions). Basically, I'd been struggling with my gender Identity/Expression for a month, and by now, after a lot of research, I was starting to understand some things about myself, and accepting that I have a feminine side and that that doesn't mean that I am not a man... but then I found this article which is one of the first that pop up: How To Tell If You Are Transgendered Basically, I was looking for ways to tell if you are transgender and have no dysphoria, but I think this article is full of misconceptions that confused me more than anything and nearly brought me down to tears. (Please note that I don't know on what their basing their arguments and I don't think I found anything like this in any other website I visited.) Things started to get ugly in the section: So how can you find the answer to the question, "Am I a transsexual?" (If you can try to read the article so you understand what I'm talking about.) 1. At what age did you first feel different than other kids of your sex? I always felt like I was different from most boys in my class, but I don't think that means you are trans, I think it was just because I was a nerd, I was introverted, and didn't like sports. 2. Can you recall times in which (in retrospect) you naturally acted more like a member of the opposite sex when you were a child? Yes, but didn't also many feminine gay kids who are not trans? 3. As a child, did you ever yearn for things appropriate to the opposite sex? Yes, I sometimes wanted to play with barbies, play rope and use roller-skates, and I think dresses and heels are neat, but I also like many guy things and like male clothes just a tad bit more than girl clothes. 4. Looking back, have you been closer in your feelings toward your male or female relatives? Same point as No. 2, and I think it is because I felt like I didn't meet all the expectations that all my male relatives had over me, and honestly, women are more inviting than men, I think that's why there are a lot more jobs for women dealing with clients like sales associates and secretaries (At least I think so). Men are more intimidating. 5. Have you had lifelong fantasies of becoming female? This is the only question I answer no to, I like many aspects of women, but I like being a man. 6. Do you have to be on guard all the time to prevent yourself from falling into feminine poses and movements? 7. Do you have any physical characteristics that are far too female to be normal? THESE 2 QUESTIONS ARE WHAT MADE ME HATE MYSELF. They made me feel like I was not a real man because I have these traits. The article says that these are very good pointers, an I tried double crossing my legs, and did it. Went to the mirror and saw my arms pointing outwards, and my index finger is a lot longer than my ring finger. Basically the article is screaming to me YOU ARE NOT A MAN. This made me feel like a creature out of this universe. I felt so low, I felt like I was a mistake of life, that I shouldn't have been born, and that I could never be man because I am different, not only on my mind but also on my body. I imagined this must be similar to what transgender people feel with gender dysphoria, but this was to my own gender. I felt horrible and it took the rest of the day to compose myself. It helped that even some of my straight friend do "girly things" with their hands, and that transgender people are living proof that you can be your gender despite body differences. What do you think about the article? Do you agree? disagree? Sorry for the long post, but I'd love to see your opinions!! Thanks
I think the questions are more based on traditional gender roles rather than actual gender identity. There are plenty of mtf girls who are 'manly' and act very tomboyish, but they are still women. There are plenty of ftm guys who act feminine and are 'girly', but they are still men. I don't think you have to follow traditional gender roles to be a certain gender. Gender identity is what you feel inside. A man can act feminine and still be a man, just like a woman can act masculine and still be a woman. If you feel like a woman deep down, you are a woman. If you feel like a man, you are a man. Whether you are masculine or feminine has nothing to do with gender.
First of all, any article that is called "how to tell if you are transgendered" is obviously not a good article in any way. The term transgendered is actually offensive and it is supposed to be "how to tell if you are transgender...". Furthermore, I could fairly easily answer "no" to nearly all of the questions presented in the article and I am most definitely transgender. As YinYang mentioned gender expression does not say anything about a person's gender identity. There are two questions that are relevant, do you have any gender dysphoria and do you feel deep inside that your innate gender is different from your biological sex. Answering either of the questions with yes might indicate that you are transgender otherwise you are most likely not.
Totally. Even though I'm FtM I still enjoy feminine things. I also enjoy masculine things as well. The article appears to be simply based off of gender roles and stereotypes.
I can see you're stressed about these questions and I'm right there with you. The thing to remember is that articles like that are not a reliable way of determining if you are transgender, it's there to raise questions and help give people a fresh perspective on themselves. It's very likely that you could pull a random gay guy who's really femme and a random trans girl aside and find they have the same physical "anomalies" and describe their childhood experience in about the same way. who knows what minor difference in hormones makes for a femme guy vs a trans girl? Maybe the difference isn't tangible so much as psychological, perhaps the femme guy was more free to express himself as a child and never needed to question his gender while you had to repress your female side and that resulted in you questioning your gender later. As much as we use biology to explain and justify our existence, biology is only half of what makes you who you are. My point is that there is no wrong answer to the question "am I trans?", the right answer is the one that feels right to you. If you're asking these questions then you obviously fall somewhere on the broad spectrum of the transgender rainbow, how you choose to express that is totally up to you and what feels right. Personally, I'm trying really hard to not worry about labels because although I identify as female in my mind I don't know that I want to fully transition because I'm not sure I'm any more female than I am male and I'm still sorting all that out. Just remember that you're not only normal, but also amazing. You have a double blessing because you can walk in either world, you're a freaking unicorn IRL and you're the only person who gets to decide how to express your awesomeness
I don't know why I'm supposed to find that word offensive, but more power to you. I agree that the article isn't very helpful.
for your information, "transgenderED" is offensive because it implies that being transgender is an action. Being transgender is simply being. Adding ed to it makes it a verb, it also gives the idea that being transgender is a choice one could actively make.
If you say so. Wouldn't it be an adjective? Like "dark-complected woman"? I don't even use "transgendered" when referring to transgender people, because some don't like it. I just don't understand why. It would barely even register to me if someone called me transgendered.
