Thought this might be a good idea for anyone who just wants to ramble or get things off their chests. Don't feel like you have to reply to posts, sometimes its enough just to get your thoughts out there :icon_wink:icon_wink
I'm hoping my dysphoria chills the hell out soon. This sucks, and I've been relaying this fantasy in my head I'm given the opportunity to have top surgery, but at the expense of having to wait until next year to start working on my short films--which would be the worst,since I've already made a shit load of plans to get into production on one of them before summer starts. Fuck that noise.
Hoping the world will move to Mars.... so I can do what I like without money or people holding me back
Currently wondering what to do with myself and my life a little bit. I'm seeing a straight guy who calls me a boy, but I feel he only does it because he doesn't really associate anything with the words and more so is just attracted to my body / tells me he wishes I'd dress more feminine etc. .... he loves me me accepts me but I'm just not sure he really takes it seriously / understands how gender matters at all, more so he just pretends it all is just meaningless words anyway so he doesnt have to feel weird calling me that since he still just sees me as my sex... also seeing a gay girl who keeps trying to relate to me in really feminine ways... as though she also assumes because I'm biologically a female and attracted to her that I relate for the same reasons / think the same way as her... but honestly I just feel totally lost around her, I feel like the main reason she likes other girls is because she's attracted to femininity and is also feminine.... but that's not me at all. So I just sorta feel like I'm sloshing around in a fishbowl right now, not really sure what anything actually means and not sure what to do with myself....
