have you heard of this? example: Women applied for a promotion only when they met 100 percent of the qualifications. Men applied when they met 50 percent. do you think this exists in the lgbtqa community? do men identifying people resonate with this? two successful heads of household? do more masculine women find this sort of confidence in their careers and lives? does this sort of confidence have any play on how your household is run? example: heterosexual couple, man is very confident in making choices, woman thinks it through and through and through.. by now man has made the choice, saying he is confident in it so woman trusts his decision. Maybe even later to find out not much actual thought went into it.
I must admit, I never really understand the importance or emphasis people place on confidence. It's something I can't relate to, meaning I don't rate confidence as a particularly important trait/characteristic in others or myself, nor is it something that I look for in a partner. I'm also not quick to attribute everything to a lack of confidence, like it feels like many people are. I'm not directly referring to what you're saying, so much as I'm just saying I think people mistake some other qualities with being a lack of confidence or they dismiss people's mindsets/behaviors (or lack of behaviors) that are based on real life experiences as being all about lacking confidence. In a lot of ways, I'm a rules-oriented person. So, if I see a job's requirements are XYZ, then I'm not going to apply if I don't have XYZ. I don't perceive it as being about confidence. I think I would just look at people applying for jobs they're technically not qualified for as people who act entitled, arrogant or as if rules don't apply to them, and would think they were wasting an employer's time. I would also think that an underqualified man is more likely to actually get a job he's 50% qualified for than a woman is...so, it does make some sense for them to apply more than women do under those circumstances. It's also the case that most people are confident in certain aspects related to themselves and not others. For reference, as my ex-girlfriend once said, I have a mix of "masculine" and "feminine" qualities. The household question doesn't really apply to me. But in my career...the more comfortable I got with my job, the more confident I got with it and at my workplace. The confidence was about knowledge more than anything, i.e. knowing the ropes, and not being a woman or masculine.
I agree with this 100%. There is a fine line between being confident and being arrogant whether you are male or female. Confidence in oneself for some is a very attractive trait; they way you carry yourself, enter a room, interact with strangers etc. But I think this is different to the confidence you may show in your workplace...some people will use their personal confidence at the workplace to give the impression to others that they know what they're doing and pretend it's professional confidence...when in actual fact they have no idea and just trick people into thinking they're clued up. I come across this quite a bit at work, and have to say in my experience it's mostly males that display it. I am female, I am not the most confident person and personally in a partner, confidence is not something I actively look for. Much prefer the quietly confident types
Yeah, I have heard of this and seen this too. I think it constitutes a significant part if not all of the wage gap. Women do tend to be less confident / more fearful than men, because evolution favours risky behaviour in men. In the lgbt the male-female split might be less obvious, as we are the popularion of gender non-conformers. As a masculine identifying person, I don't know if I would fit the mold or not? I am not afraid to go ask for what I want or find right, and I see that in comparison to others (be they women or men! No rule! ) it gets me more. Some people underestimate themselves, it is a thing. I don't. On the other hand, I would not say I'm exactly the most confident type? I tend to focus more on the content than on the "show". I am even unable to "make the show". And I don't value it at all. I agree with the above poster that some people, especially men, tend to be arrogant, on the contrary.
yes! i’d say i can rate to you on this one. i will say i believe being a non-stereotypical woman has somewhat equaled the decision making in my mixed orientation relationship with a man... and other times his sense of confidence has fooled me. like, because i would base my confidence off of research or knowing all of the facts, i easily assumed his confidence was coming from the same place. i couldn’t imagine it coming from anywhere else because it wasn’t my experience. the more i get to know him and his story i can see that he may have had advantages many times due to this reward system that has been in place for generations. i can’t even say how i feel about it yet, as i am really still adjusting to this discovery. do i wish i could worry less and make up my mind more easily? sure! did some of those choices make our lives better? yes, some, even if only short term. was he able to get jobs in many fields, and is he a sort of jack of all trades? yes! ..and this is one i can relate to, as i am somewhat of a renaissance woman. has he second guessed me too often, making me ignore my intuition, and am i suffering a bit to find myself all over again for it, maybe? sometimes, no quite often he may repeat what i say in his own words and claim my ideas as his own, or deny my ideas then months later share the same idea he heard from a guy friend! the good thing is that he is open to discuss it all. at first he was defensive, understandably so. hell, i was defensive, for myself, when i realized how long i’d let this go on! the reason this is most important to me is that we have children, and i want to break the cycle. i want to raise kids that are aware of themselves and their strengths and humble about things that they don’t know. will the majority of their generation recognize these differences, i don’t know.
You can do it. Maybe it takes time to stop overworrying but it's definitely doable. Meh, too bad about the second guessing. It's unpleasant when someone does that. Especially if you believe it.
I really dislike when I as a female am confident in a decision or confident as in a specific way to do something, yet if there's a male around with a different opinion or idea everyones confidence directs toward them, although my idea is the better idea and is the idea that ends up being used after males idea fails. This has happened to me so many times that at some points it makes me shy away from giving input/opinions in certain situations. Maybe this is a factor in why women make certain decisions, it's not so much to do with confidence, but more to do with sexism impacting thoughts and decisions.
I feel like I have two completely different sides when it comes to confidence. Sometimes I can have a "I'll pretend I won't get the job, but will edit my resume and apply anyways" attitude, and other times I have a "omg, she looked at me in a weird way, there is no possible way I can get this Walmart job"
