Hi, i'm 19 studying at university and still half in the closet. I have only just last week told my parents that I am only interested in girls, and the thought of doing anything sexual with a man just makes me feel quite ill and have felt this way since I was about 13-14, even though I have lots of male friends and would hate to lose them. However I still to this day haven't done anything about it. My Father hasn't spoke to me since, and my Mother well lets just say, rather not talk about it. I have yet to tell my friends, which I plan on doing over the next few days. I hope they can handle it, and understand how hard this is for me. I really want to meet a nice girl and have my first sexual experience, I would go as far to say I can't wait. These feeling I have are now starting to explode within me. But I just don't know what my next step should be. I have seen all these internet sites for meetings but I really don't wish my first time to be. Well I mean I don't want to feel dirty. I want it to be beautiful and with someone that understands how much of a big deal this will be for me. I so wish I had told my friends before my parents, as now i'm feeling a little guilty that I have let them down. But I have done it now and even though feeling a little guilty. I also have this feeling of relief. Whats Next? I feel to scared to go to a gay bar on my own and have no one within my circle to go with. So here I am on a forum hoping some of you may be able to give me some advice or even point me in the right direction.
My advice would be not to rush into sleeping with someone. And as far as telling your friends, I'm guessing they will be understanding that you didn't tell them first. Just be honest to them and hopefully they will appreciate that.
