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Telling my counselor about a past abusive relationship

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by taken, Nov 13, 2017.

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  1. taken

    taken
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    So, I met with my counselor today and we're finally to the point that I've gotten my "symptoms" managed, and we're digging down to the root of my problems with anxiety, self confidence, etc. As we were talking today we kinda discovered that I can't name 5 things that I like about myself, but I also can't name 5 things that I don't like about myself. I pretty much just don't like talking about myself, and it makes me uncomfortable. We kinda got down to feeling inadequate and such b/c growing up I was always compared to my brother whom I'm not a huge fan of.
    Anyways, I know that is part of the problem, but I was also in an verbally/mentally abusive relationship about 7 years ago. I know that this has a lot to do with some of my inadequacy and such that I have going on now and I need to talk about it. A good opportunity to mention it didn't come up in conversation today as we had other focuses, but we meet again in a few weeks. I hate talking about it, but I would like to discuss this with her. I'm not sure how to bring it up as it gives me some anxieties just thinking about it. Anyone have any similar experiences or advice of how to start this conversation? Any help would be appreciated!
    Thanks for all the support!
     
    #1 taken, Nov 13, 2017
  2. Shorthaul

    Shorthaul
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    They need to know, so they can help you work past it. Painting a whole picture gives them more to work with and help understand all the "whys" behind your thought process.

    You health is kind of like maintaining a car, the mechanic can't fix something if you don't tell them its broke.
     
    #2 Shorthaul, Nov 13, 2017
  3. taken

    taken
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    I plan on telling her, I just don't know how to bring it up into the conversation. It's been bothering me but it's also something that I don't like talking about. I guess I will think about how to bring it up between now and our next appointment. It's hard for me to talk about and I try to forget it but I also feel like it has a influence on why I am the way I am today. I've never really faced the reality of it, but I now feel like it is time to do so.
     
    #3 taken, Nov 13, 2017
  4. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    You could start off by saying, "I think I know why I feel the way I do. It's because of xyz". Then you can elaborate further and find a way to resolve the resentment/hate/sadness/whatever it is you're feeling. You don't have to walk in and start blabbing about it, but ease it into conversation. Most therapists will ask, "How does that make you feel?" and that's your cue to talk about the abusive relationship. Hope that makes sense and helps :slight_smile: Good luck for your next session
     
    #4 Ruby Dragon, Nov 13, 2017
    taken likes this.
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