Hey guys I just recently joined this website. I recently decided to admit that I am bi after several years of denying it. A few of my closest friends know as well as my sister, they took it pretty well and support me. Unfortunately, my mom doesn't know and I'm scared to tell her. For a while she has considered the fact I might be bi or lesbian but has never asked. I want to tell her, to get it off my chest, but she's not very supportive of lgbtq as a whole. Religion plays a pretty big role and she considers the whole thing as a sin and wrong. I think I tried to tell her once and she said without saying that she wouldn't accept it. I don't know what to do. I feel bad not telling her because she's always been there for me. But I also know that telling her might mean rejection or something else. She also has a bad tendency to share some things with her friends and our family. I don't want this because I don't want a lot of people knowing and I know several members of my family are totally against LGBTQ. How do I approach this calmly? Do I drop hints or tell her up front?
So, how has this worked? You say she hasn't asked, so I'm just wondering what has been said to make her consider that you might be bi or lesbian. Before you speak to your mom, you might want to check out the PFLAG website and download some of the resources for parents. Over the years, PFLAG has supported many parents of LGBT kids - including parents with religious beliefs. Maybe if your mom contacts PFLAG she will have a better time coming to terms with things. Also, bear in mind that it is possible to come out in different ways. If you are worried that your mom would overreact and close off from a conversation about your sexuality, it might be better to write her a letter. The good thing about a letter is that you get time to write a number of drafts until you are happy with what you are saying (whereas a conversation is a one shot thing) and it cannot be interrupted or closed down. In the letter you could tell her that you only want her to know and outline the reasons why. What do you think?
I hung out with my best friend a lot and apparently we acted like we were closer. I've made some comments before as well and she just assumed I was bi. I forgot to mention in the post that she does have some friends in the lgbtq community but she doesn't really talk to them and almost sounds disgusted whenever she talks about them.
Nicki S.....I agree with @PatrickUK on this...a letter can be a great way to say what you need without having to deal with an emotional outburst while you're trying to explain how you feel. There are some sample coming out letters here on empty closets that you might want to look at. Go to the Home page, but don't login. At the top there are some links...click on "Resources". That will open a dialogue box on the left of your screen. One of the links in that box is "Coming out letters" They could give you a good idea of what to say and how to say it! .....David
