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Technically Bisexual, Functionally a Lesbian-- Can I Be Butch?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Ham4Ham, Jun 23, 2017.

  1. Ham4Ham

    Regular Member

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    Hey all,

    So I've been an out bisexual for almost four years at this point. During this time, my attraction has moved more and more towards women-- from, say, a Kinsey 1 to a Kinsey 5-- and I've realized it's very unlikely that I'll end up in a relationship with a man (or at least a cishet man). I've never been particularly comfortable with most men that I've met and don't regularly form emotional bonds with them. That being said, I am still sometimes attracted to them and I am also often attracted to people with genders outside the binary. So, although it seems more and more likely everyday that I'll end up with a woman, I am still technically under the bi umbrella.

    Now, for the butchness. I've also been struggling with my gender identity for a while, and I've noticed that the way I perceive my gender and navigate the world in a gendered way is directly tied with my attraction to women-- which is a huge part of butch identity, as I understand it. Because I am also happiest when presenting/navigating the world in a masculine-of-center fashion, butch feels like the right word for me. I have always been drawn to it as a descriptor, and now, knowing a little more, I think I know why.

    The question is, can I still call myself butch and be a part of the butch community while still experiencing some level of attraction to men? As much as I love having a label that fits, I wouldn't want to make anyone in that community feel uncomfortable. Would also love any other suggestions on a gender identity label that could fit better, as well as clarification as to what it means to be butch.

    Thank you! :slight_smile:
     
  2. Foxfeather

    Regular Member

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    YEEEESSSS, YOU MAYYYY! :grin: Butch bisexuality is real
     
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  3. Spot

    Full Member

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    Yeah, of course you can :blush: If it's what makes you happy then go for it. No one I've ever known has stated that butch and femme identities are exclusive to lesbians. I'm sure a select few will try and say otherwise but honestly, you shouldn't let other people's opinions dictate how you identify...you've already said that you love and feel comfortable within the butch label, that's enough of a reason to use it IMO :slight_smile:
     
  4. Cinis

    Cinis Guest

    As a bisexual butch all I can say is: Yes, you totally can.