I talked to my dad about him being transgender and I got a ear filled of bullshit. I love and respect him but he said he "gave up" being transgender for his religious beliefs and my mom and that he (he didn't even know she is bisexual) believes he can stop be transgender. when I called shenanigans on that He replied "You'll understand when you meet the right person". and "If you really loved someone you can stop being gay too". I'm only 16 I know that this way of thinking is incorrect and unhealthy but part of me knows That I'm still young and Dumb and thinks He could be right. What should I say to him? what should I say to myself? what do I do? is this any of my business? I needed to vent thank you.
I think that your dad is in denial. I was for a very long time because of deeply held religious beliefs instilled in me by my parents. There's nothing that's going to stop me or you from being gay, or your dad from being transgendered. All of us can try and suppress it, but in the end that's not healthy or constructive for anyone. As for what to do, just be yourself and be true to yourself - don't try and deny yourself who you are because your dad thinks that you (or he) can change. It's just not possible. I've personally just begun to realize this for myself, and while I'm a mess right now, I think that I'm going to be a better, happier person for it. If your dad were to accept himself, I think he'd be a happier person.
Sadly, you probably won't be able to change how he thinks/feels...especially when it comes to religious beliefs. From what you've said here, your dad's in denial. It might take him some time to realize that suppressing who he truly is only causes more damage to himself. Understand that he grew up in different times where the GLBT lifestyles were considered 'unacceptable'. Not sure what else I could say to help.
Yup im Christian and so are other transgender peeps here. We do have issues trying to be both as it may be they talk abt how gay is bad sex but they dont discuss trans at all! I think we got a problem in church from not being open and honest and discussing it all. I think they fear making everybody hornyZ But if we cant get moral Queer advice from parents and clergy, just a lecture to abstain, I fear too many can't and leave God!! This is not what church is for. We all got a big problem and ignoring it dont make it go away. I do think a gay can fall in love and marry straight, but they remain attracted to same sex. Love is weird thing conquers all. I think even straights could fall in love with same sex. But ultimately as far as us transpeeps go, he will always feel like a girl inside even if he dont transition...he maybe bisexual or lesbian since he married a girl. Maybe dont argue with dad, just use genderneutral pronouns for him to hear and instead of tools buy him flowers with big pretty card and write i love you dad no matte what gender you are inside.
Im Christian and trans as well. Its not easy but it is possible. Im sorry your dad feels like he has to hide it.
I hope things get better. *hugs* if I makes u feel a smitch better I spoke to my dad yesterday about about being trans and wanting therapy etc, he went from "I couldn't care less what u are" to "you need to grow up more and I just want u to finish your degree" and then he says "there's one word to describe you..." I add in "unhappy?" He replies "confused".
