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Taking xanax before having sex?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by jsmurf, Jun 5, 2012.

  1. jsmurf

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    I should begin with the disclaimer that no, I've never had sex before, and am still a virgin. I'm also diagnosed with having anxiety disorder and have a medically-prescribed bottle full of xanax tablets (although they're well past their expiration date at the moment).


    I'm wondering, if/when I finally have sex for the first time, would it be a good idea to pop a tablet or two to lessen the angst? Would it have the unintended effect of numbing my erection or ability to get aroused?


    Performance anxiety is something I really fear, and I still haven't gotten over the fear of being naked around other people, even in locker rooms. (but I still think alot about sex, probably more than I should)
     
  2. breakingboxes

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    Although I am a female and have not experienced the erection point, I can say that a Xanex or Klonapin in my case can relax you and make it more pleasurable just because you are not worried or anxious about anything. You would have to talk to a male about the erection point, but I have never had a problem climaxing on Klonapin. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Chip

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    In general, it's a terrible idea to take xanax, klonopin, viagra, cialis, or anything else before having sex, particularly the first time.

    The last thing you want to do is associate your first sexual experience with something you need to take a drug in order to replicate; sex is a powerful association in one's mind and associating it with xanax could lead to a really unhealthy relationship between the two. Additionally, why on earth would you want to take one of the most sensual experiences you'll ever have and dull it down with a drug?

    My opinion (and the opinion of a LOT of other people who have researched it) is that all psychtropic medications are grossly, grossly overprescribed... in part because people have been conditioned to expect them, doctors are stressed and have only a few minutes per patient, so it's easier to hand you a scrip and drug you up than actually find out what's wrong, and people have been conditioned that nothing is supposed to be even slightly uncomfortable.

    A very large portion of cases of anxiety can be very effectively managed by simple and natural approaches, such as teaching some self-calming techniques. There are some very simple ones, and I think if you get yourself in the mindset that you can simply relax and enjoy the moment as it is, without chemical alteration, you'll ultimately be much, much happier in the long run.
     
  4. breakingboxes

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    Ok, good point. I had not thought of the point of association. My experience with it is just when I take it before bed and then things happen. I completely agree with what you are saying! I feel the need to defend my Klonapin use as I have a severe anxiety and panic disorder and sleep issues. I get that people are wary of Klonapin and other benzos, but it is how I function. I can go days without needing it, but there are days that it is necessary...
    sorry I dont mean to take over the thread...
    Do something calming beforehand and do a lot of foreplay and you should be ok. :slight_smile:
     
  5. jsmurf

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    Thanks. But of the two "close calls" where I've come close to having sex, such an overpowering feeling of dread overcame my mind, that I gave up.


    Of course, in both instances, I was going to hook up with guys I had met online.


    I expect things might run more smoothly after I date someone and get to know them as a human being first, right???



    Would you suggest maybe drinking a little (not too much) to loosen things up instead of using xanax, if I'm still nervous in a more dating-styled situation?
     
  6. In the same way that Xanax could be a bad idea as Chip described, so can alcohol. I would try to stay away from any mind-altering drugs if it's possible. When it comes time to have your first sexual experience, go with the flow. As someone who has severe anxiety, I can understand your fear; my doctor has prescribed me lorazepam in case I need it. For me, just having it there is like a security blanket. I take one every three months or so, if that.

    First off, I would recommend being upfront with your partner. Say something like "Hey, I have a lot of anxiety, which includes during sex. If I seem nervous or have trouble performing, it's not your fault." If that scares him off, he wasn't worth it anyway. If he stays, tell him that you'd like to take it slow so that if you feel a panic attack coming on, you can stop right away. As a last resort, take a Xanax, but I wouldn't continue trying to have sex after that. Take baby steps. If all you manage to do is take off your pants... that's fine. Next time, you can try some touching, etc. until you're ready. Don't let anyone pressure you to do anything before you're ready. A decent guy will respect your decision.
     
  7. RealityCheck

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    I think that if you actually date someone and find a comfort level with them before, you won't need any of this stuff. Even if your anxiety did effect something, if you are open with them and both of you care about each other you will be able to work toward that comfort level together. Don't dope yourself for anyone. You will be fine.
     
  8. thylvin

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    Why not try massaging? That always calm people down, make them forget about things. It will help you relax. Depending on how far you went with it, you can slowly integrate some bit of foreplay. Slowly but surely advance the massage from massage to foreplay to eventually having sex.

    By having the massage, you are taking off the edge of expectations. Help's you relax, lets your mind flow. Playing some favourable music in the background will help as well.
     
  9. Chip

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    And... absolutely no offense intended to you... but drug company advertising over the past 20 years is *exactly* why that's the first thing that comes to mind. They've worked hard to get people of your generation to think this way, and, unfortunately, it's working.

    Your first thought shouldn't be "Oh, i'm going to be anxious, I need to take ___________ so I won't be so nervous." That's a really, really unhealthy way to view life, because you end up programming yourself with the idea that you need some sort of drug or mind-altering material to get through challenging situations. That mindset at the very least leads to a lot of unnecessary numbing, and at worst, to a mindset that can foster addiction.

    An emotionally healthier response would be "Wow, this will be stressful, and I'm going to be a little nervous. So I need to remember to breathe slowly, to take my time and focus myself and relax a little, and to tell my partner that I'm a little nervous." That's what people have done for hundreds of years when they were confronted with anxiety-causing situations. But people have been conditioned to believe that any anxiety is unacceptable, and that's why this generation is the most addicted, most obese, most unhappy cohort in human history.

    Sorry for the soapbox... the main message I'm trying to get across is I know that you have the capability to access the confidence and capacity and common sense to handle this kind of situation without any alcohol, xanax, or anything else. And if you do put in the effort to learn to conquer it without the medications... I promise you'll be a lot happier. :slight_smile:
     
  10. KaraBulut

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    Bottom line?

    You're not having anxiety about having sex because you have an anxiety disorder.

    You're having anxiety about having sex because you're not ready to have sex.

    Honestly, if you took enough Xanax to have an effect on your anxiety, it would probably have an effect on your performance. And there's always that question- "Well, are you going to take Xanax every time you are in a similar situation?".

    The simplest thing to do is look at the situation - in the past, you've had anxiety because you've been in a situation where you were hooking up with a relative stranger. Maybe the issue is the "hooking up with a relative stranger" and not the anxiety about sex?
     
  11. alexmonia

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    Yeah some people have said, there are many guys i know who started using poppers when they first started having sex and now can't have sex without the use of them. It's not wise to rely on drugs to use xanax or any drug for your first time. You might end up dependent on them for the rest of your life. :/