Hello everyone, I just wanted to post something because it has been over a year and it's been bothering me. I was wondering if anybody knows the case for why it takes a while to climax. In my situation it's when I'm with another guy and I seem to take forever to climax. When I'm just by myself I can do it in a matter of minutes. Is it anxiety, stress, nervousness? I'm not sure.
Since we know this isn't a physical issue, I would suggest this: Imagine that during masturbation, you started thinking about whether you were doing it right. Or maybe you should switch hands, or maybe your speed is wrong and it needs to be adjusted. Or maybe you should be feeling it more here or there, or maybe you need to find a different fantasy, or maybe.. maybe.. maybe... You would probably never finish if you did this during masturbation. Sometimes we get in our heads during sex and have stopped focusing on our sexual feelings and emotions and the intimacy with the other person. When you start thinking too much about, really, anything during sex, it takes away from the build-up to orgasm and causes you to start over in the build-up. I would suggest that you work on just relaxing into the sex and go with the feelings and stop thinking so much. That's my take on what's happening here. Don't worry, it's common. ride:
^ That or you just got too use to doing it on your own. It's easier said than done, but remind yourself that there's no pressure to finishing quickly. You're there to enjoy yourself, not get anxious over not climaxing quick enough.
I agree with everyone. Most of the male sexual response is in our brains. We're visual, tactile, oral and olfactory. That's so complicated. I've had plenty of times I couldn't get off. I was not feeling it. Unless your partner is a total turn off, I would focus on getting him off and be done. It may just be me, but I feel that is the proper way to handle an encounter. Grace, compassion and class. Unless it is a 911. Then you become #1. If the man is worth his salt, he will help you. Be honest and hopefully good things follow you.
