Sometimes I'm happy but it's only a thin layer of happiness. Often something bad will happen and I will feel really bad again. It's almost like every thought ends with ("go kill yourself"). I went to university and despite my best efforts (I did try hard) I don't have many friends. I tried online dating (still patheticly trying) and I just get rejected. I was talking to this guy for about a week and I started to like him but he just randomly stopped replying. I was taking anti-depressed but I forgot to take them home with me so I won't have them over christmas. I just can't help but think that it is written in the stars that I will never be happy. I meant to be alone. What employer is going to want a overly shy person like me? If I can't make friends in university when will I make friends? Whats the point of living?
Let me ask you a question. Do you aspire to be something I life? For instance ill use myself as an example. I am going to school to become a psychologist. I aspire to be a psychologist. Then become the woman I always wanted to be. And show the world that yes it can done. And I have people that look up to me and I can't let them down. That's my reason for living. Unless I get cancer and become terminal I want to see this through the end. Because life is one long lesson that never ends and its the best gift anyone can give you. I know life is rough and if you need someone in your corner. We can talk privately by message in my profile. But if you need a friend don't hesitate to talk to me or anyone here. Monika XoXo
Hmm, so many different things mixed in one bundle Unless you don't want to be a singer or bartender etc, shyness is OK. Why would any boss mind? You don't have many friends... How many would be enough for you? Is there any way to get to you medicine sooner than after the holidays? Being alone doesn't automatically mean to be unhappy. In fact it would be good to be selfconfident a bit and happy before you enter a relatinship. Because that way you can more easily make your partner (or a friend) happy too. You would not be so much dependent on them. (*hug*)
I think he has a therapist already. He is on antidepressants, so he must seeing someone, no? And it's not entirely true that you have to be qualified to help a depressed or suicidal person.
I feel the same way and we should try to support him by lending our ears. By this alone we are doing something to help. I agree with Nick in the above post.
Your thread struck a chord with me, as I have had suicidal thoughts too. Sometimes I'm happy but it's only a thin layer of happiness. - I certainly get that. You've presumably been to your GP to get the meds - that's a step I haven't taken yet. What made you make that decision? The things you mention that feed your thoughts are not really issues for me - I have different ones (although isolation is also mixed up in it), so it made me think about whether the negative things in our lives - that we both focus on - are really the cause of the thoughts, or if we try to find a cause for them and focus on those things we can identify as issues for us. What I am saying is, maybe getting friends, being more confident, getting a job etc, however beneficial they might be, maybe those things achieved wouldn't by themselves stop the thoughts. I know perfectly well that most of the rest of humanity live with the things/knowledge that I can find unbearable, and they are not all suicidal about it. It's odd, although I can justify my own thoughts on ending my life, the thought of someone else doing it makes me want to reach out and stop them - as if my reasons make sense, but yours don't - that's weird, huh? Do you ever feel that?
I made that decision because I want to have a good life not just better but good. I know what you mean it's not so much that your reasons make sense but when you see someone else you think "Let me die and you go live your life" it's werid. ---------- Post added 18th Dec 2013 at 08:59 PM ---------- I have seen a therapist but I felt bad today so I thought I would try and get some support here.
Unfortunately depression is a bitch. Sometimes I would think to myself I wonder how things would've been if I weren't born. But typically when we get depressed at times people question their own existence. All I can tell you is don't worry about it. The secret to living a happier life is to not think about the negative things in life. Take a moment and do something you enjoy that's not harmful to you and the people around you.
