I had a dream recently, about a friend whom I rejected several months back, when she asked me out. At the time I had been crushing on a straight woman (of course) and I only see my friend in a platonic sense. So I turned her down. Weirdly, in this dream we were dating. Mainly just hanging out in the park and kissing. Nothing of scandal. Still, it's a bit unexpected to have this dream. I know a dream is just a dream; I'm skeptical of dream interpretations. I felt bad when I turned her down because she's a great friend and I wanted to have feelings for her. Although I'll admit that was somewhat born out of a selfish desire to merely be in a relationship - which I didn't think would be fair to her. Now, I'm posting this here because I wasn't quite sure where to put this thread. I'm not questioning my sexuality but I think this thread seems apt here? Idk. Feel free to move it if it's not in the right place.
In addition to some not so nice dreams about conflicts with family and relatives, I also have dreams that dredge up the past. In so many dreams, people who I found attractive - and may have even socialized with but not had sex with - show up and the situations in the dreams are different, so they can just be about interacting and sometimes be about having sex. It happens often. Not many people from the present show up in my dreams. I don't know what to make of it. I sure would like to gain a better understanding of dreams and what they mean.
Perhaps it's just something that's eaten away at you in the background, and your subconscious was trying to evaluate what it would actually be like if you were dating your friend? Was it a nice dream? Were you happy in it?
That's basically it. Almost like it's bugging me. The what if of it all. What if I'd said yes? Will our friendship be the same now that I've said no? Should I have said yes? We are still friends. I don't think she holds it against me and she did say she'd 'accept the L' (accept losing / defeat, to move on gracefully) if I said no but that she just needed to know if there was a chance. I mean, how can I not think about it? She had a crush on me for a year and I didn't even know. I was just oblivious. Then she admitted that the crush had come back. Which is odd to think about, that someone could crush on me for over a year. Why? I'm not that great. Then I think about how I turned her down. How I had mentioned that I wanted to have feelings for her and how it felt like the universe was toying with me. Ugh. Maybe that was cringey. But that's, well it's how I felt, you know? We've been through a lot together. She mentioned how I had inspired some of her outfits when she was transitioning. Which made me wonder, are her feelings genuine or are they more to do with aspirations of gender presentation? Not to diminish her orientation, I know that she's a lesbian. Then there's the asexuality. Which, there's nothing wrong with being asexual. However, I don't know if I'd want that in a relationship. Not to sound shallow, but I am a sexual person. Granted, the idea of sex rather terrifies me in general, but it's something that I kind of want despite this which is just a whole chapter of confusing. As for the dream, it was pleasant but I felt confused when I woke up. So uh, just an all around mess.
Aww, well, bless you anyway, for being so concerned about it all! You sound like a really nice friend to have... I'm sorry, I'm new here so had no idea about the background to it. I didn't realize your friend was asexual. It must be very confusing for you to be in this situation! I think, to be honest, it sounds to me, anyway, like you did the right and decent thing? You're not being shallow, everyone wants sex, and it would surely start to become deeply frustrating being in a relationship like that... Aren't you dating? On dating sites? Meeting people? You're obviously an attractive person to have someone crush on you that way... If I were you, I'd try not to worry about it: you don't seem to have done anything wrong (you didn't lead your friend on) and you deserve the relationship you truly want. I hope this makes some sense? I did initially think I'd recommend just seeing how it went, with them, if you'd said you felt happy in the dream, but I do understand where you're coming from now.
I'm not dating. I mean, I'm on apps but I am definitely not meeting people, ha. Although I did make friends with someone on an app, and I thought it was a date, but then it turned out she was straight and thought it was just a hang out and assumed I was straight. So uh, yeah. That was an interesting turn of events. Task failed successfully?
lol, yeah that certainly does sound quite an awkward encounter! ... I actually found dating really easy once I started. It was starting that was the hard part! At least you've experienced going on what you thought was a date, so you've gained a little experience at it. I hope that the next time you try it, you have a more successful time
Interesting how vivid and frequent some of you get dreams like that. I can't remember much of sex or anything with guys in my dreams but I wish they would be wonderful fantasies! The main dream I seem to have is about stress of traveling and waking up late to pack up the hotel room and make the flight. I don't even travel so that makes me want to avoid it even more lol! Another one is about being so far behind in classes that I'll never pass, which is how uni seemed for me a lot, but did make it. Those dreams are just no fun like a sex dream with my old college crushes would be! Makes me sad I don't get those.
