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Starting to wonder or get close to accepting that i'm not 100% gay as I thought I was

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by needshelp, Sep 4, 2023.

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  1. needshelp

    needshelp
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    And dont know how to express it or find our that i actually am a bit sexually attracted to women i guess. Its confusing me a bit.

    Ive been pay attention to how my mind and body has been since this journey started in 2011. Ive accepted that Im gay, not straight, have an attraction to the same sex. However, i still notice that my sexual attraction to the female anatomy hasnt gone away fully either. See, i would masturbate to pornographic material of men and women and still do. Theres things about men that turn me on sexually and etc but theres things about women that do too sexually. Romantically, not so much to be honest.


    I would actually like to have a sexual relationship with a woman or go on a play date. Am i just sexual or just gay with


    I would say i prefer men.
     
    #1 needshelp, Sep 4, 2023
  2. needshelp

    needshelp
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    Also to add to this.

    I tried to focus my attention to men when it came to sexual attraction ignoring whatever sexual attraction I may have had to women after I came out. At one point, I would only masturbate to pornography with men in it but after awhile, I felt like I was hiding my sexual attractions of women so I started masturbating to women again.
     
    #2 needshelp, Sep 4, 2023
  3. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there, welcome back! :slight_smile:

    Watching pornography might not be the best indicator as to where your attractions are and how you feel about being with men and women.

    Have you ever been in a situation where you came across someone, and felt this is someone you want to get to know more because they stirred something within you? Were they female?
     
    #3 Mirko, Sep 4, 2023
  4. needshelp

    needshelp
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    Thank you. Surprised that this account still exist. Kind of curious what happened to some people

    Honestly yes but just sexually though. Not romantically i think. I've had crushes on women in the past like men.
     
    #4 needshelp, Sep 4, 2023
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2023
  5. Mirko

    Mirko
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    If you have had crushes on women in the past, it might be worth to keep it in mind while you are trying to figure things out further. When you had the crushes on women, did you try going on a date or a few dates, to see if there is more to the attraction/feeling?
     
    #5 Mirko, Sep 4, 2023
  6. needshelp

    needshelp
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    No, didnt. Tried to ask them out but wasnt feeling brave enough
     
    #6 needshelp, Sep 5, 2023
  7. kwhale53

    kwhale53
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    Courage is a bitch! Maybe in a social or group setting? Maybe consider your relationship/s with the women you're thinking of, and try suggesting a get-together?
     
    #7 kwhale53, Sep 5, 2023
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  8. Mirko

    Mirko
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    It might be worthwhile trying again. You have nothing to lose by asking someone out. It might be easier to get to know someone in a social setting as @kwhale53 has suggested and take it from there. In a social setting, the conversation might help to build the foundation that can lead to asking someone out for a coffee.
     
    #8 Mirko, Sep 5, 2023
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  9. Purple Yoda

    Purple Yoda
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    When I finally accepted that "I am gay"... I took a trip out to LA. I visited a gay strip club.

    Imagine my surprise when my eye kept wandering to the one woman on stage & her nice round onion.

    Yes, it is confusing AF. Still haven't figured myself out, almost 10 years later.
     
    #9 Purple Yoda, Sep 5, 2023
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  10. itsuka

    itsuka
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    I'm in a similar boat. I'm probably bi, but identified as gay since puberty, always with caveats. Once I fell in love at 17, it became difficult to call myself anything else. Never had any feelings for girls. But vaginal sex has always been a central part of my sexual fantasies since early childhood...
     
    #10 itsuka, Sep 23, 2023
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