Starting the transition!

Well the first person I talked to about it was with my ex-bf (we were still dating at the time). I was taking a class called Intro to Queer Studies and I emailed the professor about my gender confusion. He recommended I talk to the president of the LGBTSS, he (or ze, not sure on pronouns since they are non-binary), recommended I talk to the someone at the student services center.

So I started meeting with a psychologist, and remained in therapy for 9 months before eventually I got dumped which got me back on dating sites, and this time meeting trans people in my area. I started going to support groups and making lots of trans friends. This was my final push. I got recommended a doctor by one of my new friends and finally asked me therapist for a letter of approval to start. Once I had made the decision I was ready and certain that I needed to do this, I had a prescription within about 2 weeks.

Hope this has been somewhat helpful.

 

I guess that being the opposite (MtF) prevents me from having an accurate answer for you, so I'll just tell you a little about how it went for me.

I haven't started my "medical transition" yet. I mean, I'm still not into a therapist or on HRT. Some months ago, I had to face myself for my orientation, and that came with my gender issues. I didn't decide anything right away, because I wanted to do some research before.

After a little research, I came to the conclusion I am surely a transgender, but I'm still confused about how much I wanted to be (I wasn't sure if I were to seek a full transition, or just crossdressing).

So the only thing I could decide was that the only way I could find an answer was by crossdressing regularly and start to "release" my feminine side, until I had a clearer vision of what I am and what I want. So, after that, I started to buy womens clothing, and started to use it at every chance I got. Soon I understood that I couldn't do it on my home, because nobody knew about me, and even if I told them, they hardly accept that someday I just started to use a skirt and a blouse instead of my pants and a shirt just because.

So what I did to solve that was to move out of the house, and rent an apartment. Once there, I could start to express myself, more feminine, and I (at long least) could start wearing a skirt and high heels, and ... well.

I know that maybe this is not the answer you seek, but the thing is, I am changing myself before consulting a professional, because I want to be sure I want to transition before I see a therapist. Right now, I'm really happy letting my woman side out by wearing that clothing. Of course, I still don't do it in front of the people who doesn't know about me (only in front of the friends I told of my woman side), but it surely feels good.

As for people confusing you for a butch lesbien, I'll say don't worry, a lot of women wears the hair short, and it doesn't look butch at all. Even so, it's more socialy acceptable that a female wears male clothing (more than the other way around at least).

 

Thanks! I get really happy when I could be of some help!(*hug*)(*hug*)

Also, often people won't react how we think they will, I'm happy to see you mom supported you with the haircut.

Glad I helped, even if a little(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

I didn't. In fact, just a couple months before starting to transition, I let my facial hair grow longer than I ever have before. I went 2 or 3 months without shaving. I really felt like if I couldn't pass as a girl, there was no point in doing anything to look less masculine.

I was also terrified of the in between phase when people would stare at me and think I'm a freak because they can't tell if I'm a guy or a girl. Of course now I'm absolutely loving looking more androgynous. I never thought I would but I am. I'm loving going to work and having customers see my long hair, shaved arms, and long fingernails. I just wish I didn't have to wear a name tag that says Michael =/

 

I'm about at this point now.
I cut my hair off and it was really the thing that got the ball rolling for me.
Since then, I've told my close family and friends and purchased a binder which I wear whenever I can.
I didn't think having a binder would make such a big difference, but it really does help with my moods and just living my life in general - big boobs, they get in the way without binding

So yeah, I'd definitely recommend you try binding if you haven't already.
The first time I bound my chest, I used bandages and only kept them on for an hour or two.
Eventually I got to the point where I wanted to be able to bind for longer without the bandages slipping or needing to be readjusted. So I got my first binder.

I didn't really need to change my wardrobe at all - like you, I wear guys clothes.
And most people already call me TJ which is gender neutral so I'm happy enough with my name for now.
But that would be the next thing on my list. Changing my very feminine sounding name to one that is either neutral or male.

That and at least one therapy session. :icon_bigg

~Hope I helped~

 

Amen! I hate it that with short hair I fear I look just like a girl trying to be butch. :/ I have posts of how I have changed on my profile photos. I think you gotta friend me to see? IDK. Anyways, until April I didn't know the definition of Transgender, so I thought I was the only one who thought like this. Boy, I was wrong!

I found EC same day, and I tried right away to buy some boyish looking clothes, because I was scared to go into men's area. I had since I was a young teen asked my grandma at times to buy me a men's sweater or tshirt, but now I wanted it all.

So not very long after that, I ventured into Ross and TJMaxx and got jeans, belt, shirt, hoodie, and a winter hat (cuz it was on clearance!) I never intended to transition how I dress so fast. What happened was I wanted to try stuff on at home, and I put them all on same time, the looked in the mirror.

What happened next was I saw myself. No, really. I had been seeing this man in drag, and it felt wrong. Now I saw a boy. Just a regular guy. I must stared 10 minutes. I bought a binder, and mens quality briefs.

I got my hair cut off in August, emailed pix of men and women with cut I wanted. I told the person in the email just what you said, I don't want to look lesbian. I think it looked great. As she cut, I saw me more. Unfortunately it grew out and my teacher complained of me brushing my hair back and tossing my head. So I got it cut really short. I think I liked it better before, and hopefully that woman can style it again.

So, we all different, but that is how I transitioned to male clothes and hair. And I am cool with giving advice how to get good guys clothing too.

---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2012 at 11:40 PM ----------

I would think if you were fully transitioned lady Michael is a sexy name. Just me. An angel name Michael, yeah!

 

Oh my gosh...I did too. i had no choice but to try to be a happy girl right? so I did my utmost best. i got a dress i like on girls, looks 1950s. it was high quality. no good. okay, i make my hair blond and put in curls like i think is attractive on girls. um, my face looks odd, and my legs do too. what is going on? okay, i got some make up, i hate it, but maybe it will help me. so i put pink eye shadow on. no. okay clear lip gloss...it is just shiny lip balm right? my face looks not girl! what the?? okay, change shape of face to have high cheek bones i use blush, smile in mirror. GOSH! Why do I see a man in drag???



Dude, I am a Christian. I was told when I was about 13 about gays being sinners. So I went into closet then cuz I thought this is similar. But when I dress up I see a man in drag...even as a teen i saw a boy in a dress. I didn't know about trans, I thought this is really strange. But when I put on all mens clothing, I am telling you, the weirdest part is I felt like I was moral! Yep, if gay is bad, and cross dressers are all gay men, then look I am finally straight! Hahahaha! That, my friend, is what I saw in the mirror. And although I know what I am now, I still say no matter what we wear we are a guy, even in a dress. Our culture says straight guys at a least are not to wear girls clothing, so I feel in no way wanting to again. And...I got a wardrobe full of the most elegant, high quality Macy, Nordstroms, Saks 5th avenue stuff!

I do want a suit, secretly. But I want a good one, fitted for me not off the rack jacket, you know? I used to work at a store that fitted men in suits, and I felt inside something about it, jealousy. Women don't get theirs altered with a purchase like that. Luckily for me, my feet do not fit women's shoes, I must wear men's, as the arches and with and even toes are cramped and cut into me with ladies shoes.

I have not gotten more than ties. I am scared to go that last big step. Go to church in a men's fitted suit. Then cat is surely out of the bag.

As far as men's briefs, um I do have junk, and women's ones cut me and I hurt wearing them. I found by chance the perfect ones for me. Diesel has ones in Brights colors and so they are not boring white and have no seams where it can rub on my stuff. I guess they know that happens if you have stuff, but I guess some girls have very little down there so they didn't realize that it makes some of us bleed. I will never wear girls ones again.

I have gotten several binders and found 2 I like best on me, and unfortunately I am perfectly endowed with about a B or C cup. I can't wear a shirt without binding. I got them at LoveBoat. It is sad we don't have them in stores in the mall we can take back if not fit. Everybody is different, but I can tell you what I liked of all I got if you want.

I got really good deals in men's jeans at Ross. I looked for ones with pockets that were cool, and not too huge, because I am not a rapper. I got them for $20 each and they strangely fit better than women's. Again, you may be built differently. I am not super curvy, actually kinda straight, but I got a butt. But I did buy some men's nice black dress slacks there or TJ Maxx. I paid about $29, but they were about $80 in store originally. I go for name brands as they will be cut better so make us look more male because they will lay right.

I found few dress shirts that fit me as I am built. I should work out then I could fit better. But one I liked I got at Target. And I went to an LGBT event in DC and believe it or not...a gay man had on same shirt and i just happened to wear it too!!! Yeah, we kept staring at each other until we both said we need a picture of this.

 

I am not technically transgender, but I have to say. I can relate to your posts about "being female biologically, but feeling like a man in drag when in feminine dress" very much. I have a flat chest, and when I dress up in skirts, I do not feel or look like a girlie girl; I feel/look like a guy in drag. I am really glad that it is not just me imagining that this is possible.

I have no plans on any surgery, as I am not called toward it at this time. I ID mostly as a male in a woman's body that is male from the waist up, due to my flat-chestedness. It's odd to me at first, but if I were to change fully to male, I would be more likely to wear feminine clothing, I think; if that makes any sense. I hope that it does!

 

Well this particular event was hosted by several colleges in DC. They served water bottles, fruits and muffins and donuts, all free. I gotta give that university kudos, they had a gender neutral bathroom. i walked right in no shame. we gotta push for that universally. nobody minds, and it does what for us? we don't have to run home! This event had several informational meetings in different rooms. One talked how in rural America, farming gays may not want to be in yo face and out...they just got a farm to run. Another talked of Uganda, how gays and trans peeps apply desperately for asylum to UK and US and regularly refused unless proof of being nearly killed. Die then we save you? And another was about a study being done currently. Then we went to a big room together ate a nice lunch, again free, and an award with scholarship given to a student who did something really good to help others. Not all events like this...if only. But it was cool. I fit in, wore even my soft packer cuz it is okay to be male in a fully LGBT place! And I felt like one of the straightest guys there!

---------- Post added 25th Nov 2012 at 04:02 AM ----------

btw, here is how to coordinate your dress shirts with your ties men:

first do you have a suit? If it is just black and so are shoes, then we skip to next question.

do you have a tie already, cuz if so, bring with you to match up a good shirt with it.

if not, go around the nice store looking at ties until you find one you like...or opposite, go search for the right shirt first and tie will be last.

So I will talk of the nice dress shirt. Nice ones are not usually on a hanger, and do not come sized Medium. they have numbers and many men don't have a clue what it is about. I know, I was always helping guys get ready for high school prom!

1st # is your neck size. They always have a measuring tape in store, you can do it yourself or have one of them do it...but likely they are on commission so only go up to someone who you want to have the sale, okay?

If you do it yourself at home, here is what to do: use measuring tape, the fabric kind okay? do not be a smart guy and try to use your metal one that rolls up...that is for construction projects not your neck. Your mom will have one in her sewing kit, near the sewing machine. go straight around neck over largest part of Adam's apple. Don't go snug, be lose, be able to place your index finger tip inside. Okay, did it say 15? You should try on either 15 or 15 1/2 then, because you DO want to be able to swallow. Air and eating are important.

Now you know your neck size, which changes so we recommend you re size every 6 months, now for the second number set. that is arm length. 32/33 is generally a man's normal length. If you are a short guy, haha! you are going to have issues! Kids section? (Yeah I am mean!) But a few men are worse off, they are tall. Long arms will end up 34/35, and the really sad ones are 36/37 which usually they only carry for huge fat men...it is true! So if you are a bean pole and a jolly green giant too, ouch! You may have to go to a big and tall store that will price gouge you! To measure for certain that you are 32/33 so you don't get too short sleeves, you must measure from nape of neck, back of arm past elbow to wrist, but have arm up as if resting on a fireplace mantle and ever so slightly bent at elbow.

Now, are you thin or do you taper in drastically at waist? Then look for slim cuts or other names a maker uses for their slim lines. If you don't I am warning ya, you will have that big wad of fabric around the belly. Not smart looking. Now, if you are big bellied or have a womanly figure with big hips you are going to want regular cut, and most are that way, just be sure to avoid the slim ones.

Choose wrinkle free. Trust me. And do try on several colors and brands. Avoid the cheaper ones. Sale prices go as low as $29...they can be $89 a shirt too. Save your money and buy whatever looks and feels best on you...do not skimp as this will be a part of your good wardrobe, like for work. And you will be judged by how you dress if your business requires a suit. A sloppy dressed man does not get as good pay or does not even get the job.

Once you find one that goes with your suit and complexion very well, time to get a tie.

Now if you were finding ties first you would do same thing at this point. Take any dress shirt out of the plastic bag! I know, we don't want to leave a mess for the workers, but it is their job and this is what they will do too, okay? you don't have to unpin a dress shirt you did not try on, but the bag will distort the way a tie looks with it. Trust me! So take it out and lay it down flat.

Now let's say the shirt happens to be bright turquoise blue. It matched your eyes, I get it, get over yourself you are not that handsome. You may be surprised but trying to match the color with the tie is a common error men make. Actually a contrasting color can make it and you pop! Try one with maybe a yellow background, or a pinker dark rust. If you never been in ties section, hold on...it will take a long time! Guys who hate shopping, still remmy it will be a tie that makes or breaks you...get a great one. solid looks really good on some men, the narrow ones I like...always have. But the narrow ones will not look good on a big guy. They also don't have as many usually to choose from. Yes the conservative look for a bank or church maybe just a few stripes, but they have paisley, and florals, and geometric shapes and more. If you have a gf or sister or a buddy who is really really good with stuff like this, bring her! The salesman could lie to your for the sale, but my experience is they want you to be a regular return customer and so they will work hard to get you a good looking coordinated look.

I must add again, if you do not have a belt, get one that is a dress belt not your usual one.

Women will buy all sorts of stuff to look good for you, so do this for her sake...and for your own career and self esteem.

Hope this helps someone.