Stance on having kids?

I have four beautiful (grown up now) kids and I know you're not supposed to say it but if I had my time over again I wouldn't have kids..! So much heartbreak and stress and pain amongst the bits of joy...!
I don't regret they were born of course - I love them all to death - and at least two of them love me! But I often hear people say that the love and happiness outweighs the pain and heartbreak but I'm not sure it does! Maybe it's equal..?!

 

Uh-oh! Has it gotten to the point where you've had to replace some furniture?

I wonder if they can limit themselves to a scratching post if there is one around. That would be nice.

A lot of people - of all stripes - who don't want kids seem to choosing fur babies of one kind or another. They can be enormously helpful to people's psyche and mental health.

 

I heartily concur with this. My cats were one of the things that kept me sane in 2020 (along with my wonderful friends).

Scratching posts are a good idea. Also..putting covers on your sofas works too!

Beth x

 

All my friends have kids, and personally I am glad I don't have any. So far this year one friend and his family have not been sick like two or three weeks. Like four weeks in a row they all were just constantly ill.

I have a dog, has all the requirements and supervision as a child but doesn't need a car or college. Also is always happy to see you.

 

one day maybe with the right person maybe at the right time maybe Feels quite far for now for me at least...

 

Having kids is something I've always dreamed of, and I believe it's a beautiful journey that brings immense love and purpose to one's life.

 

I'm not planning on having children because:
1) I don't really see the point in creating a new human being and dedicating your life to taking care of it, when there are so many people who are already living and need help
2) I don't want my children to suffer the effects of climate change
3) I want to have time for myself and my hobbies
4) I don't know if I would be a good mother, and I don't know if my mental health is stable enough for raising children. Having kids is a huge responsibility and I don't want to ruin their lives

 

I don't know if I want kids. There's a lot of "maybe if".

Maybe if... I ever reach that financial stability and job security.

Maybe if... I ever find someone to date / settle down with.

Maybe if... I ever feel like I could be responsible enough.

What if... I regret my choices?

What if... I'm ill suited for being a parent?

And so on.

 

i want to live alone with my so
and possibly a sphinx cat

 

I might want to update that statement.

though it's quite recent, I'm dating someone with a small child (the kid has 3 parents living together). the kid's funny and cute. I wouldn't really want a parenting role for myself, that would be too difficult for me, but turns out I don't mind (or even enjoy) having a kid around and playing with them.

if things evolve I'll update my take on the matter. it's clearly not something I would have ever expected lmao, but I'm here for it

 

Nope. The trifecta for me:

1) I have basically zero exposure to kids. I'm the youngest in my extended family, all my parent' friend's kids are older as well. I don't know how to act around kids. While my parents aren't awful people, and I have spent a lot of time working on myself - I don't trust myself enough to give kids a better environment to foster emotional growth and maturity.

2) Money. Life is expensive as it is, let alone accounting for another life for *at least* 18 years.

3) Obviously everybody should have control over their own reproductive lives, and adoption is always an option. BUT I'm pessimistic about the cost of living, weather, resources, quality of living etc etc just seems to be getting worse with time. So at worst it seems very unfair to bring more children into this world, at best heart wrenching to see my children denied opportunities and experiences I had.

 

If I was in a different situation I would love to have children. However I’m no where near financially stable enough or possibly even mentally stable enough, haha. My partner doesn’t want children and she’s made that clear several times, so it’s probably never happening for me. The expense factor though is my main determining factor, it’s expensive to have a child and it’s definitely expensive to raise a child especially without the help of another person.

In a dream world though I’d love to be with someone who wanted children. And I would love to be able to afford to carry my partners child and maybe vice versa, but like how expensive would that be..

 

I don’t want a baby and I don’t want a teenager and I while I wouldn’t mind a school age child, I don’t want one enough to deal with the rest of their life. Id probably regret it, from a financial standpoint too. My mothers birthing story about me was so bad I’m honestly surprised I’m not an only child. I never want to give birth.