1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Stance on having kids?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AnxiousReader, Apr 30, 2023.

?

Do you want children?

  1. Maybe

    12 vote(s)
    32.4%
  2. Yes definitely

    7 vote(s)
    18.9%
  3. Definitely not

    18 vote(s)
    48.6%
  1. Nameerf76

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2017
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    141
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I have four beautiful (grown up now) kids and I know you're not supposed to say it but if I had my time over again I wouldn't have kids..! So much heartbreak and stress and pain amongst the bits of joy...!
    I don't regret they were born of course - I love them all to death - and at least two of them love me! But I often hear people say that the love and happiness outweighs the pain and heartbreak but I'm not sure it does! Maybe it's equal..?!
     
  2. Tightrope

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    5,453
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Uh-oh! Has it gotten to the point where you've had to replace some furniture?

    I wonder if they can limit themselves to a scratching post if there is one around. That would be nice.

    A lot of people - of all stripes - who don't want kids seem to choosing fur babies of one kind or another. They can be enormously helpful to people's psyche and mental health.
     
  3. chicadeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    954
    Likes Received:
    1,058
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I heartily concur with this. My cats were one of the things that kept me sane in 2020 (along with my wonderful friends).

    Scratching posts are a good idea. Also..putting covers on your sofas works too!

    Beth x
     
  4. Shorthaul

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2016
    Messages:
    1,498
    Likes Received:
    234
    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    All my friends have kids, and personally I am glad I don't have any. So far this year one friend and his family have not been sick like two or three weeks. Like four weeks in a row they all were just constantly ill.

    I have a dog, has all the requirements and supervision as a child but doesn't need a car or college. Also is always happy to see you.
     
  5. Ntina21

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2023
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Athens
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    one day maybe with the right person maybe at the right time maybe :slight_smile: :slight_smile: Feels quite far for now for me at least...
     
  6. Elenor6

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2023
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Pakistan
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Having kids is something I've always dreamed of, and I believe it's a beautiful journey that brings immense love and purpose to one's life.
     
  7. Aelin56

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2021
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    56
    Location:
    Poland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm not planning on having children because:
    1) I don't really see the point in creating a new human being and dedicating your life to taking care of it, when there are so many people who are already living and need help
    2) I don't want my children to suffer the effects of climate change
    3) I want to have time for myself and my hobbies
    4) I don't know if I would be a good mother, and I don't know if my mental health is stable enough for raising children. Having kids is a huge responsibility and I don't want to ruin their lives
     
  8. Canterpiece

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,831
    Likes Received:
    118
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't know if I want kids. There's a lot of "maybe if".

    Maybe if... I ever reach that financial stability and job security.

    Maybe if... I ever find someone to date / settle down with.

    Maybe if... I ever feel like I could be responsible enough.

    What if... I regret my choices?

    What if... I'm ill suited for being a parent?

    And so on.
     
  9. Prxdefest

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2023
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas City, MO, USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    i want to live alone with my so
    and possibly a sphinx cat
     
  10. Aeolia

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2015
    Messages:
    122
    Likes Received:
    111
    Location:
    fr
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I might want to update that statement.

    though it's quite recent, I'm dating someone with a small child (the kid has 3 parents living together). the kid's funny and cute. I wouldn't really want a parenting role for myself, that would be too difficult for me, but turns out I don't mind (or even enjoy) having a kid around and playing with them.

    if things evolve I'll update my take on the matter. it's clearly not something I would have ever expected lmao, but I'm here for it
     
  11. HM03

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2013
    Messages:
    2,641
    Likes Received:
    511
    Location:
    Pergatory
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Nope. The trifecta for me:

    1) I have basically zero exposure to kids. I'm the youngest in my extended family, all my parent' friend's kids are older as well. I don't know how to act around kids. While my parents aren't awful people, and I have spent a lot of time working on myself - I don't trust myself enough to give kids a better environment to foster emotional growth and maturity.

    2) Money. Life is expensive as it is, let alone accounting for another life for *at least* 18 years.

    3) Obviously everybody should have control over their own reproductive lives, and adoption is always an option. BUT I'm pessimistic about the cost of living, weather, resources, quality of living etc etc just seems to be getting worse with time. So at worst it seems very unfair to bring more children into this world, at best heart wrenching to see my children denied opportunities and experiences I had.
     
    #51 HM03, Jun 24, 2023
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2023
  12. Kyrielles

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2017
    Messages:
    614
    Likes Received:
    58
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If I was in a different situation I would love to have children. However I’m no where near financially stable enough or possibly even mentally stable enough, haha. My partner doesn’t want children and she’s made that clear several times, so it’s probably never happening for me. The expense factor though is my main determining factor, it’s expensive to have a child and it’s definitely expensive to raise a child especially without the help of another person.

    In a dream world though I’d love to be with someone who wanted children. And I would love to be able to afford to carry my partners child and maybe vice versa, but like how expensive would that be..
     
  13. Loves books

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2017
    Messages:
    1,498
    Likes Received:
    103
    Location:
    Ireland
    I don’t want a baby and I don’t want a teenager and I while I wouldn’t mind a school age child, I don’t want one enough to deal with the rest of their life. Id probably regret it, from a financial standpoint too. My mothers birthing story about me was so bad I’m honestly surprised I’m not an only child. I never want to give birth.