Spanking/Corporal Punishment---Do you support it?

A parent must be able to discipline a child when they are doing the wrong thing. To tell children that they can do as they please is incorrect for when they enter the real world, they soon learn that they cannot just do as they please, when they please.

Does that mean belting them up? No, it doesn't mean that at all. Children must learn self discipline and the difference between right and wrong. You are right that children are not property but this do gooder ideology causes more harm than good to children.

I have seen the results of children being told that they can do as they please. Such as refusing to attend school. Dropping out of school.

I have also the seen affect of teachers unable to deal with a child who refuses to behave. All the school can do is warn, suspend and expel which does nothing. We also have cases now where students who become violent cannot not be restrained for everybody's safety or the teacher/staff are punished.

 

This isn't about doing what they please. You're polarising the issue deliberately. A disciplinary framework for raising children doesn't mean hitting them. The children and adults I know who receive(d) negative reinforcement, especially hitting, are worse-off. More prone to violence, less sensitive, and they tend to lack any discipline, because being violently disciplined by others doesn't internalise the disciplinary framework.

It's the same principle as "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime". If a child's discipline is based on the incentive of avoiding being hit, they'll avoid it only when they can be hit. If a child is given a moral and ethical compass through explanation, then they will be truly disciplined.

Any sort of punishment is not good. If a child spills a drink on the carpet, you don't make them clean it to punish them. You make them clean it so they know what hard work it is to clean a stain, so they remember to be careful and considerate of others and their property. The child must know that it's not punishment, rather education, otherwise they'll simply resent it, rather than taking in the lesson.

 

I am amazed that you're only 15.
I think you're going to make a great parent someday.

 

I polarised the issue because the powers that be went too far, leaving disempowered parents and schools.

 

I was beat at home and occasionally smacked by nuns at school. I was always told why I was being punished and I understood what I had done that was wrong. You forget what little shits kids can be sometimes, and if you take a second to think about people you grew up with, you could remember more than a few kids who deserved a slap.

I do not "support" corporal punishment, but I do not believe in the hippie bullshit I see from young parents today, where they treat raising a child like a partnership and let their kids run wild.

 

In some cases I agree with you, but I see far too many parents who are anti-LGBT, manipulative, verbally abusive, and strict to an unhealthy level (tiger moms), with no legal recourse for the child. If we want to empower parents and schools once again, we need to figure out a far better system of handing shitty parents than what we use now. Parents need to be able to be strict and tough, but it can ruin a kid if it goes too far, and a lot of parents go too far or use abusive methods without touching the kid. Parents need power, but the kids need protection from when that power is used in the wrong manner.

 

Bold by me and I must agree to this 1000000%.

If people want their undisciplined kids to run wild and do whatever the hell they want, please remove themselves to some island in the middle of nowhere so that their little monsters don't disturb the lives of other people.

I remember this kid at the café that was having fun picking up everyone's phones (or anything we had on the table, really) and running about with them and her retarded mother did nothing to stop her "little darling".

After the 3rd time that kid picked up my phone, I grabbed her by the back of her collar and "dragged" her to her mother and warned that if her "little darling" went to my table again, it would get nasty.

The kid didn't come to my table again but soon enough I heard a huge slap and the kid started wailing. She pestered some older guy once too much and he rammed a good one across her face.

Drama ensued and the mother left with her "little darling", all huffing and puffing because we didn't let her monster do as it pleased.

And don't even pull the "it's just a kid having fun" card on me. Kids do NOT have fun with other people's possessions! :tantrum:

 

The parents who have that total laxity in raising their children, in my experience, tend to be the least "hippy" there are. They're often close-minded and have similar mindsets to the kid-hitting, war-mongering redneck sort of people, but spoil their children rotten.

And that man was out of line. You do not slap a child like that, especially a stranger. Being so readily provoked into violence makes me question his home life.

 

I think that it is important to remember that it isn't spanking or the kid is some undisciplined nuisance. There are more options than that.

Agreed. If were that woman, I would have called the police and had that man arrested immediately. That was assault and the charges would have probably been worse than that considering the person he hit was a child. If he thinks it is acceptable to strike a child that he has no relation to simply because said child annoyed him, I question what else he would do if he ever really got angry.

 

The problem is that there are too many of those "parents" nowadays... :dry:
It's the same sort that tries to punch the teacher for giving retention to their "little darling"...

That's how things work in USA but not so much in other countries I'm afraid. Where I'm from is not a nanny land and we're not sue happy.

If she had called the police, she would have a whole café full of people against her and he wouldn't go to jail. The police would only get annoyed at wasting time over some civil matter and tell the mother to get her kid under control unless she wants more strangers to educate her kid. To him, they'd tell him to get his temper under control... that would be it.

We don't shove responsibility on others and you can't get people arrested or sue them over every little thing where I'm from.

In fact, unless there are weapons involved of any kind or if the person gets seriously injured, no one gives two shits if a guy is punching another. We just don't call the police over every little scuffle. But this is another story...

I'm not agreeing with the fact that the guy hit the kid out of the blue (even though I don't know how many times the kid pestered him) but I don't agree with "mommy" not doing shit about stopping the kid either.

 

I voted no, even though I'm kinda on the fence about it. Before I became a sassy motherfucker (age 7), my parents would spank me when I was bad, or broke the rules. And Holy man, did it ever work. It wasn't even close to abusive, but it was effective, which is why my parents used it. I understand how borderline it can come to abuse, but that's not how it was with my mother and father, and I think in cases where the no one's getting any sadistic fun out of it, and it's controlled, it's okay.

I can believe how it would lead to kids having low self-esteem though. Hell, maybe I can blame my dysfunctionality on that stuff.

As for schooling punishment.. Ehhhh, I don't know. I've always been a bit of a goody two shoes in school. So, as soon as the teacher would yell at me, I wouldn't talk or do anything for the rest of the day. I guess it depends on the kid, but in general, I think it would be safest just to avoid it for now.

 

I fear disappointment more than anything. That's something that kids need to do. I cannot stand when my parents are disappointment.

My mom worked for 15 years in an intensive care unit for kids. She saw what happened to abused kids who were broken beyond repair. It is a travesty to hid your kids. There is absolutely no excuse.
What's so bad about it is that spanking is almost always included with screaming and force. If for some lucky reason, "patting" someone on the butt did the trick, then we could talk. Spanking scares kids. What does it teach a kid? Nothing - just to be in fear of a smack.

The only thing I have to add is that not spanking shouldn't mean we give up discipline. So many kids today are not disciplined - and they should be. Our culture is so afraid to say anything bad! If a kid is being bad, the kid needs to know. They just don't need to be harmed.

 

Ditto. It's such a horrible feeling to not meet someone's expectations. I would take a punch in the face over that feeling any day.

 

I just think that corporal punishment is ineffective and too abrasive, especially in a school setting. There needs to be countries for both techers and children to keep a trusting relationship. I also feel it doesn't work at home there are more effective ways that don't take away a Childs self worth.