Son in school

Katyjane 80

Can I just say your son will be fine. Because he has a mom like you. I think your fab!

You are showing exactly they support he needs. I do think bullying is a part of life. Gay or not and kids can be really cruel.

Good on you!

Love from Neari in fair old Yorkshire x !

 

I'm a high school student so I probably won't be much help but I really wanted to tell you how lucky your son is to have you as a mother. I wish there were more parents like you.

 

Maaaaan, he is a lucky kid... Keep it up, ma'am. Just having other gay individuals in his life is a huge help. Things would probably be a lot easier for me if I didn't feel like the only gay guy that exists in the state of Georgia.

 

Try to get straight to the point I'd say, don't ask them, tell them the bullying needs to stop. If your son is on Empty Closets I'd really like to speak to him, but keep letting him know that he is much better than whatever insults are slung at him, and that he should keep his head held high.

 

I hope your lad is finding it easier at school, It is good to see the headmaster being very tough against homophobia. I think recent developments such as the Gay Marriage bill passed by the collation and numerous sports personalities announcing that they are gay in quick succession have had quite an impact. It certainly wasn't like that at schools a few years ago, but unfortunately discrimination still exists and I hope your school has a long term plan to deal with this.

It is really nice to see supportive parents chatting on here, it is particularly good to see that you go the extra mile such as gay pride and introducing him to your gay friend etc. Many people on this site have had difficulties with parents and many here would wish their mother was as supportive as yourself.

I hope everything works out.

 

Hey, I recently came out at my school a few weeks ago and I'm a year younger then your son. I feel really bad for your son and maybe you should show him this website so he can know he is not alone. As for the school problem, I personally love getting revenge on people who have done me wrong and your sin should be proud to stand up for himself. Also to deal with the teasing some kids did call me gay as an insult. Are you kidding me. I would just reply with a simple "Yep" and they would immediately stop teasing me. Also he should try and just hang out with his friends. The close ones. The ones who support him. It is also good to have some straight guy friends. Just some help from a kid who is in school right now.

Have a nice day!

 

You are a true inspiration to me! I've recently decided to start coming out to people in my school but have been very very insecure about what they might say. You're so brave to come out to everybody and you have such an amazing, supportive mother. Don't let anyone get to you, I know that it could be hard and people could get you down but they're just ignorant jerks. You've got so many people around you that love and support you, and so many people that look up to you(Including me(*hug*) )

Stay amazing, you've got it really really good to have such a supportive family !

~Jess
A fellow LGBT

 

I don't know if this helps...

I ended up getting friendly with a teacher who is openly gay. She made a fuss when I told her about certain things being said, threatening sexual harassment. It stopped immediately.

Another time I talked to a teacher and openly told him that I'm gay, and turns out he was nothing but supportive... but told me that he would make it stop. He ended up telling the class that every teacher was supposed to talk to the class, saying that what you may think of as abnormal or different, or just like to joke about, can really hurt some students... more than you can think, and that the administration was starting to suspend students for it. That small lie made things stop.

I wasn't really out to everyone. I didn't really know anyone to tell, my teachers and case managers knew, but I didn't talk much to other students.

 

Hi Katy,

Judging by saying that other person is the same age as your son I think I might be able to offer some insight since I am in that same age group.

I don't really have to deal with the stuff your son does because I like girls as well as boys and since I haven't started transitioning (I am out though) I am seen as a rather straight individual in fact its well known that I have a crush on this girl in my grade.

But I do hear what they say and I agree it can be really harsh.

For example in the locker room where the boys commonly talk about how sexy they are (in a joking manner) this dude make a joke about how everyone wanted to see him and this other dude said he wouldn't because "he's not queer". I realize queer can have negative connotations but a lot of people adapt that label so I didn't try to stop him with using that but I said "You say that like it's a bad thing." and he said "it is."

Then he started asking if I was and shit but I brushed it off saying it doesn't matter.

They were talking about Michael Sam and they made jokes about how it must be bad in the locker rooms but eh

The point of this post is to say yes that it gets pretty bad but it must be even worse when you actually fit into the group the peeps are talking about

 

Your son is lucky to have you in his life.

Some parents are less supportive/don't care so you are doing something right.

Keep fighting for your son!

 

Hi there,

When I was in school. I was constantly insulted. Not a day went by, without being accosted by either a student or school staff. I was harassed and discriminated to the point of deep depression and suicidal ideation. This was back in the 90's, and it disheartens me it still goes on.

It got to the point, not only was I harassed at school, but when a kid seen me in public, they would shout discriminating, hurtful words.

Unfortunately, in the early to mid - 90's, parents' really didn't know how to deal with their sons / daughters being gay, and most of us still wasn't out. So, I had to suffer in silence for a longtime. When I did come out to my mother, she supported me 100%.

My advice would to be wholeheartedly support your son, which you do. Tell him once he's out of school and exposed to the real world, this kind of hate and discrimination isn't as permissible as in school. That can be hard to see for one that is attacked and bullied on an everyday basis. They seem to form the idea that school and the real world are the same thing, when it isn't!

I would keep a close eye on the situation.

I hope you and your son resolve the issue.

 

I think you first need to give the school an opportunity to voice it's opinion and justify its position.

Should you not be satisfied, you need to be firm. If they are complacent and are not looking like they are taking the issue seriously, I would say you need to advise them that if they do not get things sorted, you will be escalating the situation by speaking to the school governors, OFSTED and the local department for education.

That should help get the cogs turning.

Hope that, whatever you do, all goes well for you and your son.