1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Social media change

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Katelyn93, Sep 14, 2021 at 1:23 AM.

  1. Katelyn93

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    Pretoria, South-Africa
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi there,

    I am a trans woman, I'm not really closeted but I haven't come out publicly yet, I'm very much at the start of my transition. Work specifically has been a place I'm not sure I could come out due to how horrible the conservative clients and management handled me painting my nails and dying my hair. I am however out and trying trying present more socially, at home and around family and slowly but surely making my way into shops etc as well but I know I don't pass so I try not to draw attention.

    That said, a new friend wanted to tag me after a night out on Facebook where I was very much presenting, after some consideration I told her to go ahead. My Facebook is however in my old name etc. There's obviously older content and profile pictures on there of me before I started this journey but it's part of who I am and was and my life so I don't know if I want to scrap and delete it but if I change my details and put an obviously more feminine profile Pic on that'll out me if I were to ever pass and such and give that idea to new friends etc.

    Would you create a new account, keep the current one and just delete the old content or just change it and leave the rest as it is?

    Sorry for the long post.
     
    Lemony likes this.
  2. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,637
    Likes Received:
    1,078
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    When I had social media accounts I only had them as my true self. If at that time I had one as my fake self (birth assigned life) I would have deleted my pretend me and created a new account for my true self.

    There was a time when I was more open about things in my life and then after the series of hate crimes I moved to another city where I lived stealth. I kept the account that I had but I deleted anything in it that might hint at my having transitioned. I even disconnected from everyone in the old city, for most I just unfriended them for the few that I was closer to I messaged them and explained how I was recreating my public self for my own safety and then unfriended them (without exception the ones that I messaged said that they understood why I was doing it).
     
  3. Rayland

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2021
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    44
    Location:
    Estonia
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I have been thinking about it too. I feel like I want to keep the old account if I ever come out and keep the name too, just because I wouldn’t want to confuse anyone and if say old acquaintance would like to find me, but they don’t know I changed my name, then they could still find me. I wouldn’t want to create a new account, because I don’t see the need. Maybe I would change my name there and put my old name right next to it like this: new name (old name). I think it’s possible there like that. And yeah you can always unfriend and block those who don’t want to understand you.
     
    #3 Rayland, Sep 14, 2021 at 3:57 AM
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2021 at 3:58 AM
  4. Katelyn93

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    Pretoria, South-Africa
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I don't particularly want to keep the name. I see why changing it might be confusing to those who are on my friends list though. That said i mean I'm still me and did have those experiences and that was me. Everyone changes, mine (ours) is just a lot more physically visible and different but I don't feel like I want to scrap the old account and treat it like it was an incorrect or fake life. I suppose I'll just update it then. Thanks for the input.
     
  5. quebec

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    2,511
    Likes Received:
    1,255
    Location:
    Idaho, U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Katelyn.....This is a difficult subject. Some people want to completely forget their old "fake" life and others feel that their life before they came out as trans was still a part of their life and don't want to forget it. I think that you just have to decide which group you want to belong to. What you did, who you knew, and where you went, etc. before you came out as trans is still a part of who you are. If having photos, etc. of that part of your life on social media doesn't cause you to have anxiety...then go ahead and post those photos on your Facebook pages, etc.. They are, after all a part of you! If they cause you distress, then don't post them. The choice is up to you!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #5 quebec, Sep 18, 2021 at 2:28 PM
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2021 at 2:29 PM
    Katelyn93 likes this.