so on fri. my mom's cousin um. went, .......ok. to clear this up a bit. my mom's cousin isn't w/ us anymore. it happened on fri. he went from HIV. he was 64. i found out sun. um. ......... there's more. but i'll start w/ this. thank you.
You seemed very reticent and uncertain how to talk about all of this, but it's okay to say how you feel. What's going through your mind? Tell us how you are feeling about his passing, if you can.
thank you. it's. it's been hard. i'm not handling this well. he was gay. which i think is probably how he got HIV, through s*x. which apparently he'd had for at least 30 years. HIV that is. and i'm. just angry about it. it's not his fault and i feel bad about it but. yeah. gay straight. well regardless of sexuality he was a good guy. he was enjoying something [s*x] that's a basic human need. he was part of an organisation that helped people like him. [he was actually the head of an organisation that helped people who had HIV/AIDS. that's what i'm referring to.]. i've never had HIV so i don't fully relate. but i would imagine it would be hard i've gone through difficult times myself.
Death in the family is a tough one. I've had four in our immediate family over the last five years and feel like I'll be reeling for a while still. My husband and I go out to brunch every Sunday but we made brunch at home last Sunday because the thought of all the boys taking there mothers out to brunch--as good gay boys are wont to do on Mother's Day--was more than I wanted to handle that day. The HIV thing's a tough one too. Given my age and my involvement in the community I know a lot of wonderful people who've lived with HIV for a very long time--and have known quite a few who are no longer with us (although mercifully no deaths for quite some time--knock on wood). This one, I think, always seems more personal for gay people than maybe it really is. The fact of the matter is that the biggest causes of death in most developed countries are heart disease and cancer and people still have a burger from time to time and still enjoy a sunny day. And they should--smart people take precautions but they don't stop living. He lived for thirty years with this thing that I'm sure when he was diagnosed everyone thought would kill him. It reminds me of my Mother. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer so advanced that it had already spread through the lymph system. It was everywhere. They gave her three months to live and said she could roll the dice on chemo and radiation. A lot of people said she shouldn't do it, better to actually enjoy her last few months, but she pushed on. She's no longer with us but she bought 23 amazing years no one thought she would have through sheer will and determination--years lived so fully because she was so aware how fleeting it all might be. It sounds like your cousin did something very similar. He sounds like a kind, caring, tough man who should be mourned, but who would want you to live your life to it's fullest.
^ thank you. yeah it is hard. Mother's Day is hard for me as well, for different reasons. it is. amazing that he lived that long w/ HIV. that's as old as I am. and i really.........um.........it relates to my own feelings of mortality if that makes sense. 'but she pushed on'. yes exactly. he taught us all a good lesson and that was it. it was. to, push on to keep going however.......whatever that means for us. that's the thing right now that makes it difficult. is that he sounds. a lot like me. kind, .........humurous [sp?] firm when needed.
