I am demisexual-panromantic, but I don't think I can work up the nerve to come out to my family. They are NOT open to this kind of thing. If they found out that over half of my friends are transgender or lesbian or anything else, they would probably kick me out of the house. I have told all of my LGBT friends to keep it quiet around my family, but this is driving me CRAZY. What should I do?
If you know that your family is not going to be open about this, I don't see how coming out will be helpful to your situation. In all likelihood it will only make your home environment more toxic. And the risk of getting thrown out is a very real possibility. A number of studies have shown that LGBTQ youth make up a disproportionate rate of the homeless youth population, averaging approximately 40% of homeless youth. I know how hard it is living in the closet, but coming out to a homophobic family is not going to help. I think the best way to survive is to get your own place as soon as you can, and to surround yourself with people who care for you and accept you for who you are. Family is not necessarily defined as blood relations, it is a community of people who support and encourage you, not judge you for being different.
Firstly, you need to stay safe. As rubbish as it is to keep it quiet you don’t want to risk putting yourself in a dangerous situation. Sometimes parents turn out to be a lot more accepting than you think but if you have reason to believe that it might not go well, go with your gut. If that means keeping it between yourself and your friends for now, unfortunately that might just be what you have to do to stay safe. You seem to have a network of lgbt+ friends already, which is great. Use them. Speak to them, vent to them, be yourself around them. When you can’t be yourself in all aspects of your life, it can be incredibly frustrating but being able to be true to yourself at least some of the time in a supportive group will give you the strength to get through the time at home. Take care
Thanks for the advice. That is probably why I consider my friends to be more family than my actual family. I just need to get through this until I can finally get out of here.
