Apologies in advance everyone just been a weird ass day and need to put my thoughts down (helps me process) so my mum has been blatantly ignoring the fact I came out as gay for the last month since I told her (not sure why might be uncomfortable adjusting or not approving) so I had been avoiding her so as to not upset myself. Today is the first day of a holiday we booked together last year. So I’m basically stuck with her in a lodge for a week. Not fun. started out really awkward so I made a tonne of effort to make small talk and it was less uncomfortable which was brilliant. However later on kinda out of the blue she asked if I fancied a guy I have been seeing. (Not in that way even though he’s super cute. He’s straight as anything. Just good friends) and I was like cool we’re making lots of progress here. Then when I explained he’s cute but see him as a younger brother she asked me if he was gay. So I told her he wasn’t. Then nothing more was said. But the more I think about it the more I wonder if the only reason she asked was because she was jealous and didn’t like the idea of me dating him because for the first time yesterday I went around his house (covid) so confused and upset again not knowing the reason of her asking. Later on we are laughing and joking just like old times. Which weirdly made me feel sadder cause I realised how much I missed our relationship. Then seconds after feeling more connected than in months she diverts on about the gifts god gave us and how I need to understand how they work and inside I’m just losing her all over again. just so many different emotions today. And the thought of not being able to escape for the next 5 days is making me feel like I’m back in the closet, suppressed and trying desperately not to let it show that something is up.
AvatarRoku…..It’s hard to tell, but I think she is having trouble adjusting to the “new” you. I came out as gay here on EC in December 2014 after finally accepting that I am and always have been gay. This last Christmas my middle son came out to me as pansexual and then I came out to him. You’d think that I of all people would have no trouble at all accepting my son as pan! I certainly did at the time, however, since then I have found that picturing him with another guy (he is married to a woman) is somewhat difficult and troubling! I’m working on it and I know it will be fine, but your mother may still be trying to picture you with another guy and having a really rough time making it “fit” the picture she has had of you in her mind for years. Hopefully she will adjust, although it may take some time. Please keep us updated on how this goes…and remember …you are part of our LGBTQIA+ Family and we do care! …..David
Thank you David. Your message really did make me smile. it must be a lot for parents to take in as despite society being so much more understanding and accepting we still build images in our minds of what we expect our future to be and like you say it can be a big shock to have that image change so drastically in a short space of time. I hope as time goes on she gets her head round it and is not overly influenced by her friends who would not be my biggest supporters right now. thank you again for your kind words
