im letting you know NOW that i get off track in this and it is LONG, but only becuase i am nervous! and i hope it isn't all jumbled up. lol okay, so i have known that i might be attracted to guys for like, a looong time. i try and make it obvious to my mom that hey, your son might be gay! lol but yeah wow, this is taking alot to even type this let alone say anythign about me being gay..... but anyways have read ALOT of stories on other sites talking about ways people have come and and stuff, why did i not listen? lol cuz one was saying don't do it in the car, mom might get in a wreck! sooo yeah, how about i just tell the story? get your popcorn and milkduds people well after school i got into the car when my mom came to pick me up, and i was all sad because of my classes being really hard and what not, and she says "what is wrong?" "nothing" "what is it" " well i am so sick of all these classes they are too tough for me" and blah blah blah i forgot what happened with that anyways here is where it gets confusing and now that i think about it, kind of funny "what is it (lets say my name is bob)" "well......" "well what?" "well......" "i think i might be bi" ( i told her i was bi cuz i didn't know how she would take me being full on gay, even though i THINK i might be) "oh...." "yeah" "well people are always teasing me at school and stuff callin me names" ( i think if i hadn't said this, i would be SURE i was out to her) "well i dont think you are bi, just because people tell you that you are something doesnt mean you are" dont know what i said after this but i think it was - "well its not them....." ( LOL i was like, CRAP this is gonna be sooo awkward on the ride home and by this point i had already started crying, mainly cuz she wasnt gettin it) "well BOB i sometimes admire other women, but that doesnt make me gay or bi" "so do you think any less of me, or hate me?" " no BOB i still love you..... (and something else sorry i have the WORST memory)" ANYWAYS, what just happened, am i out to her? cuz we didn't relaly speak about it much more on the way home, i just listened to my ipod cuz the conversation kinda faded out and we haven't mentioned it to each other since, but yeah i don't wanna have to comeout TWICE to one person especially when i got to tell my best friend, my aunt (i have a feeling she doesn't like gay people much, considering her reaction to the repairman....the face she made at him behind his back made my heart sink and i was like "okay, i'm never coming out to YOU! LOL), and the girl that i have dated on and off since like kindergarten LOL but that ended in 9th grade, but i am still close to her though. Anyways, enough of my life story, do you guys think i am out to my mom and how should i come out to my best friend, who always jokes that i am gonna marry the girl i have been on and off with.
I'm sorry to tell you but as a mum, if I had that conversation with you, I would either be completely unsure what had happened or pleased with myself that I had reassured you about not worrying what other people say!!! Now that you have had this discussion if your mum asks how you are you can just say; 'urm, you know what we were talking about the other day in the car... well its true, I am' and see where she goes with it. As a mum and a straight I don't really get why being bi is better that gay or vice versa, but hey that's maybe just me. Your mum had a good reaction. She wanted to reassure you and comfort you she didn't say Devil child, begone from my sight!! I think she will be ok with it, maybe a bit shocked but hey we mum's are very resiliant, we bounce back... trust your mum, she loves you. Don't let it get you down, you're going to be fine
Try talking with her again and this time be clear and specific when you tell her. She sounds like she's going to be fine. Like Louise said, she loves you! Now pass the Milk Duds and Popcorn.
Those are great responses from mums! I can't give you an answer from a mum point of view though, for obvious reasons! I don't think you are 'out' to your mum because she couldn't be absolutely sure of your orientation... I mean even you aren't sure of it. I always thought it'd be really hard to tell someone that you're somewhere inbetween, still trying to discover your sexuality. That's not to say that everyone fits nicely into the straight, bi and gay categories, but I think you really need to be sure yourself where you stand, before others know. To tell your best friend? I really can't give you any advice on that, because I'm still yet to tell my best friends. But good luck anyway, and it sounds like your mum will take it fine, rest easy.
I agree with beckyg and think that you shoudl try to talk to her again to make it clearer. if you decide to, i hope it goes well and good luck!
Sorry it took me soooo long to reply, i thought Empty Closets was going to update me when people responded! LOL Yeah, i think i am gonna talk to her again, its just really hard especially with the church speaking against it and all, so im gonna have to find the right time, the right place and some kleenex cuz im gonna need them! lol
Yes. You are out to her. She is either denying or just trying to help you figure out whether or not you are. Talk to her some more to actually know. Lots of crying will take place.
I would say that it depends on your mom, and how close you guys are. I didnt even mean to come out to my mom but it just kind of happened one day, i was telling her about something that happened with a friend of mine, and she just looked at me and asked me what was going on with me and my friend, i said i didnt know, she asked it if wanted to date her, i said i didnt know. and from then on she just knew. although...i dont think she was even a little surprised...
personnally to me it sounds like she was thinking that you where just worried about what the kids at school where saying. I would suggest sitting down with her and making sure she knows what you really are saying. If she says something like "don't worry about what the kids say" just keep pushing her in the right way and make sure she know what you really mean. If you are not sure if she got you the first time you can still sit her down and ask her if she really understood what you meant that time you talked with her.
