Hello, I'm 16, female and I live in the UK. I have had no sexual experience with boys or girls. But I have a problem. My problem is; I don't know if I am Bi-Sexual, Bi-Curious or Lesbian. Here is some back ground information: I have always thought of myself as straight. Well, that was until 2-3 years ago when I first started questioning my sexuality. I started questioning it at the age of 14, when I developed a crush for another girl. I was really confused and. I thought I wasn't normal. Don't get me wrong, I'm not homophobic at all and I believe that it is ALL fine. But I thought that I was straight, and I didn't think that it was normal for straight women look at other women in that way. I was scared of being different and these new feelings towards girls and therefore; I tried to suppress these homosexual feelings. At times I look at a girl and imagine myself kissing her or fantasizing about it. I don't mean to fantasize or anything it just happens on its own accord (I have no control)... But because of my fear of these new emotions I forced myself into being or at least thinking that I was attracted to guys in the hope that the homosexual feelings were just a phase. I would want to try and find a guy that could take these emotions away. (I wanted to get rid of them badly because I was adamant that I was going to be heterosexual) and I ended up being miserable when I couldn't find a guy that could stop myself from feeling what I felt (and feel now). Anyway since the first time I had questioned my sexual orientation I have been trying to forget my doubts of being a heterosexual and trying to 'get rid of' my homosexual needs. But only a couple of months ago did I look a little deeper into my feelings. I thought that I was more mature now and could handle the fact that I might be gay. When I searched these feelings I found that I quite liked the idea of spending my life with another woman and I would quite like to have sex with one or do stuff with one (sorry for being open and somewhat rude) and I still have these feelings now. Okay, knowing all that, naturally, you'd make the assumption that I was a lesbian. But, I still look at male actors and think they're cute (not in a sexual way but I would admire their physique and/or talent and looks as well) I would look at actors such as Benedict Cumberbatch and think "Wow he isn't all that bad looking" or "Wow! He's an amazing actor!" I also am a fan of Sherlock and read a lot of the JohnxSherlock fanfiction and I think that it is absolutely adorable and cute. Do these thoughts about actors and gay pairings mean I'm Bi-Sexual? Do the thoughts of two fictional male characters being gay and thinking that it is cute or adorable mean that I am Bi-Sexual or Bi-Curious? Why whenever I think I might be a lesbian does a strange feeling erupt in my stomach (the strange feeling is very much like butterflies/apprehension)? I am really confused and would love your help figuring things out. PS: Some extra information: I don't see girls in the street or whatever and think "Wow! She's hot!" or "Geez! She's sexy" (or other crude thoughts) but I might look at her and think "She's pretty" or "I really like her." PPS: Sorry for the long post.... :icon_roll
This confuses a lot of people. I'm friends with a lot of lesbians and they still can appreciate and admire good looking guys. They even have guy crushes! I don't want to put labels on you. Just be comfortable with yourself, and being gay is a blessing, not a curse, so don't freak out about it
That feeling in your stomach could be from butterflies because you're around an attractive female, or apprehension because you don't know how others will think of you if they knew you were lesbian. I actually think that you lean towards being lesbian. You're able to have crushes on girls, want to have sex with them, but you never mentioned wanting to have sex with a guy or date them. Just finding certain actors cute or whatever is something anyone could do. Actors are typically good looking, and we don't mind staring at attractive people for 2 hours in a movie . Also, there are plenty of lesbians who like gay pairings, or gay porn, etc. It's not an indication of who you truly like. Hope this helps!
Thank you to 'thelamekid' and 'IG88' You have both given me answers which are comforting and helpful. To answer any further questions, no I haven't really pictured myself having a sexual relationship with a guy. But thank you both for helping me with your answers
