Small Victories

Hooray!! :'D <3

 

I got a haircut! I feel so freaking good about it, and my friends are being super nice about it and building my confidence by calling me handsome. (I needed this victory since earlier at the mall a guy stopped in his tracks when I walked past him and he did that sign you do over your heart to ward off demons?? Towards me?? I'm a teenage boy not a demon I swear. Although it is debatable).

 

Hey I'm glad to hear it! Congrats, seriously. I know how great that feels.
Similar reactions when I first cut my hair short a month and a half ago :') (Besides a guy at the mall trying to exorsize me, of course.. Granted, i feel that's more of a once in a lifetime sorta dealio )

While were on the subject, I was feeling really lousy, bordering on dysphoric about my appearance for a while, but today I got my hair cut (just a trim, really) and it looks super great in my humble opinion and I'm just pleased as punch!! •v•"

Funny how nothing more than that can do wonders for a person's confidence.. I dunno.
Maybe it's just me. :icon_wink

 

Today has probably been one of the best days transition wise. My binder arrived today (super quick delivery ) I came out to a friend and she handled it SUPER well AND I got my haircut today has been pretty busy but it's really nice :eusa_danc

 

I've got new dress, you can see it in my pictures, and my hair is finally growing longer *-*

 

went to eclipse clothing store and bought a new top lady asked if it was for someone special told her it was for me. she said that was great and to come back and shop anytime

 

My fianceé got me a box for my watches with my new name on it. Symbolic, but I also love watches. Still no one calls me this. She's only called me that maybe once or twice. My next step is to get people to actually say it.

 

nice to hear that. enjoy

 

I got my hair cut in a short androgynous curly style a few weeks ago, and not only do I absolutely love it, but I've been travelling quite a bit and I've been called 'sir' and 'gentleman' a few times by airplane cabin crew. True, the plane was dark and one time the hostess saw my face, corrected herself and apologised, but it still makes me feel just a bit happy and fuzzy inside.

 

I got back from Turkey Hill with my mom about ten minutes ago (it's kind of like 7/11 if you want an idea of the place), and it's one of the few times I can think of where my mom openly referred to me as her son.

While she was at the register waiting for one of the employees to come up, I looked around at the energy drink section to see what their inventory was like (since another TH near my place isn't this stocked most days) and not only did she use my name, but she also used my pronouns and I "passed" well to others there.

Also when we got back, I dropped a slushie off to my little sister who turned ten yesterday, and being the little nerd she is, she said "thank you good sir". I dunno, it makes me feel light and fuzzy knowing that she's going to grow up knowing her big brother and not who I was forced to be.

 

first day with make up today

 

*backstory for those who haven't seen my name changes, I was going by Ciarán for a while and I haven't told everyone about Theo in case I keep Ciarán, also Sam is the shortened version of my birth name*

Dad: I'm taking Ciarán home.
Little brother: He's not Ciarán.
Dad: Who is he?
LB: He's Sam.

Pronouns. I freakin' love the pronouns.

 

I had this discussion with my partner echoing some stuff I told my mom yesterday about how often I was gendered female and how people bullied me over it when I was in junior high until I cut off my hair and told her, "I looked like a girl and people often thought I was a girl." She was like, "Of course! You have big eyes and long lashes. Maybe you were meant to be born a girl. We are women and women," meaning the two of us in the context of our relationship. Also English is her second language.

 

My mum just lent me a skirt and I put it on! For those few glorious minutes I felt indescribably wonderful. Some strange feeling like optimism, which I've needed for the longest time.

 

Today I and my friend (boy) were adressed as "you boys". It felt so natural, like it should be and always was (though it wasnt)

 

I'm finally out to My stepmom who I'm very close with and she is being more supportive than anybody else so far. She has a lot of knowledge about insurance especially for mental health and she's helping me figure things out in that regard. I might be able to get some things covered but I thought I would have to pay full price for.

 

Cool! ^.^

 

I still have my old insurance (the state Medi-Care) as a secondary insurance. So if my main insurance gives me shit about hormones or surgery, I have a fallback. Looks like I'll be able to get top surgery after all.

 

It might sound corny, but I'm just glad and a bit proud to have made it through the day. It was long and hard work, there was no special trans stuff in it except for the everyday issues. But still. Life is full of days like these and I conquer them one by one.
*sleepy victory dance*