Well, I'm outted. This happened a bit ago, probably 2+ weeks ago when I got my laptop taken away. My parents kept asking why I wanted short hair cuz it got brought up somehow, and my sister told them it's because I was non-binary. They said that it was stupid, and the haircut I wanted was ugly. They told me if i wanted that haircut, I had to wait until I was 18. My dad told me that if I was trans, he would refuse to call me by my preferred name. He made one up based off of my current name. He then said he might believe me if everything I did wasn't such a teenage "trope". That is; sh, mental illness, being gay/non-binary. He made me feel really small. They keep making jokes about me being a tumblrina and being obsessed with pronouns. They keep trying to say I'm one of those neo-pronoun people which--I have no problem with neopronouns--but it isn't what I'm trying to be. And now it seems like my parents are trying to make me as feminine as possible. i dont know. I love them, but It's gotten to a point where I literally cried over a video that had this trans person saying non-binary/trans people are valid and deserve to be respected. I've also fallen back into a relapse of my old habits. I just want to feel valid. Any advice is appreciated, I just needed to vent. Ty. <3
I'm sorry you're going through that, those are really hurtful, stupid things to say to anyone. I don't know what advice I could give except that, as a much older person, I can say that these days won't last forever! You WILL move out and be an independent person eventually and often, after they've moved out, people are able to rebuild a better relationship with their parents.. not always, but it does get easier... So hang in there!
Coming out is almost always a long-term process - for everyone involved. And pain is typically part of it, too. There's no way around that. But what you can hope for is that the coming years will heal the wounds, and open new paths to a healthier relationship. Your parents need time to evolve as people, just like you do.
I am soo sorry you have to deal with that crap as a Bisexual and Non Binary like yourself we are seen we are valid !
Hey Pluto I'm sorry this has happened. What a horrible situation for you to be in. I'm a parent to a teenager and I know enough to know that you DON'T take the p*ss out of your teenage children. It's not on. Your parents sound mean and controlling - you've every right to be angry at the way they're treating you. Are you out to any of your friends? Hang out with them and people your own age who accept you. Whilst you're in the presence of your parents I would just play the game and act the dutiful daughter - it will be a lot less stressful. There's no point trying to win over people whose minds are closed. Hugs, Beth xx
You are valid as a nonbinary individual. I am very sorry you have to deal with unsupportive parents. I hope eventually they do come around and realize that their actions can have long term harmful consequences. *offers internet hugs* You're valid...I'm sorry I don't have much advice at the moment.
that's alright, I do appreciate your comment. I've been feeling pretty down about it lately, but it's nice to know there are some people who think I'm valid. <3
I'm so sorry your "family" mistreats you like that it's terrible! Of course we're taught by parents to always revere them and that they know best, but as you can see, yours are wrong on this and many other things I'm sure. You don't owe them anything. They sound unwilling to learn what you, their child and should be their top priority, needs to self actualize. They think if they provide basic material needs, you should worship them. They never questioned how they were raised and it benefits them to have all the power too. Again they should be thinking of what do you need to love being you. They're using shame to make you conform which is super damaging so please be aware of that. Watch out for CPTSD from the long term neglect and always made to feel wrong and bad when you aren't either. I just read this today, https://www.npr.org/2023/01/14/1147367710/for-many-family-bonds-can-run-deeper-than-shared-dna. This line sounds amazing if anyone has this growing up, "...It's wonderful to have that because I really feel like that's what families should be like, you know, that you get to rest and be yourself and laugh with those people..." Not laughing at the things that cause us fear and anxiety, that's not love or any family I want. Hang in there until you can get out on your own I hope!
im so sorry that happened to you. its just wrong to say that to you. i can't believe your sibling would out you like that. that's just cruel. you should be able to do these things on your own time. i want you to know that you deserve better, to be respected and loved as you are. don't let anyone - not even your parents - bully you into being something that you aren't. you're lucky that you are loved by so many people, people you protect you and accept you, people that no matter what will stand by your side. family is connected by love, not genetics. if acceptance and respect aren't in the loop, then that isn't family. remember that.
This is really late but I read this and want to comment. Your parents are just as prone to mistakes as you or your siblings are. You love them because love includes those who we disagree with and those who might hurt or wrong us. I encourage you to not listen to extreme comments from anyone, and seek a meaningful and honest discussion with your parents about this. Your parents are probably very concerned about the internet and it's effects on the way you think. That's actually justifiable. Your gender and orientation will play out over time, and that will be the evidence that demands a proper verdict from your parents or anyone else who seeks to invalidate you.
