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Should I tell a friend?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MiChan, Nov 14, 2017 at 9:34 PM.

  1. MiChan

    Regular Member

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    Hey,
    I‘m not sure if this is the right place to post this so if it‘s not, I’m sorry.
    I‘ve known for quite a while now that I‘m not exactly straight, but recently I just can‘t ignore it anymore. I have this huge crush on a female celebrity and I want to talk about it with someone so badly. The problem with that is, that although there have been some minor „fangirl-attacks“ regarding other girls from my school, I‘ve never had a proper crush on a person that I know in real life. (Also have no experiences with anyone)
    So I‘m scared that if I tell a friend they will tell me that it‘s just a phase or think different of me.
    So, as I’m not sure yet about what I am, do you think it is a good idea to tell someone about it or better wait till I know more?
    (Most of my friends are pretty open minded)
     
  2. Mirko

    Staff Member

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    Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets! You have posted in the right place, not to worry.

    My suggestion would be to give it a bit more time, before confiding in a friend. Waiting a little longer, would give you a chance to continue figuring things out, and perhaps understanding your feelings better. Potentially, this could provide you with a bit more confidence too in talking about your feelings, attractions.

    That said, if you feel it would be good for someone to know, someone you know would also be willing to listen when you need to talk, or is willing to be there for you whenever you need support, it is okay to come out. Coming out as 'questioning' works too. It sounds like you do have group of supportive and accepting friends.

    In large part it depends on how you feel. What are your instincts telling you? When you ask yourself, 'Am I ready to confide in a friend?' how do you feel?
     
  3. MiChan

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    Thank you for your answer :slight_smile:
    I‘m not so sure if I would be totally ok with my friends (or one of them) knowing, but I also feel so alone when it comes to this so I really don‘t know what to do...
     
  4. Mirko

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    It might be good to wait a bit then before coming out to your friends. One thing that could help (also with not feeling alone and having someone to talk to) would be to join a lgbt support group or a social group. Is there a group you could join in your area?
     
  5. MiChan

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    There are such groups in my area. But I don‘t know if i have the guts to actually go there
    But thank you so much for answering, it really helped a lot