Should I be honest?

So, I have this event coming up soon at University. It's a talk on learner contracts and student disability, and I've been invited to it (plus by going I could perhaps learn more about how the contracts work, and get the chance to talk to disability support and student support- which is slightly daunting because I haven't spoken to them face-to-face yet).

Unfortunately, the talk is on a day where I otherwise wouldn't be in University (I commute, so on days where I'm not in, I'm at home) so that leaves me with a decision to make...

My parents are currently unaware that I have applied for a learner contract, and they are also unaware that I talked to the University's disability support about dyscalculia testing. It turns out that they do offer testing, but it's only covered by the University if my tutor can offer some sort of proof that my course contains enough maths to qualify. I'm still not sure how they are supposed to do this, or the process of it all.

If they can't prove this, then they can refer me elsewhere and I can pay to have it done privately (£300 to £500 typically). The way I see it, is that I have several options right now- I could:

A) Tell my parents why I'm going in, and have a discussion about it. Unfortunately, with this option it means dealing with my sister's disdain (she disapproves of the idea of me being tested, and dislikes when I talk about it- if I told my parents, then my sister would probably be informed which might make things...well, not great).

B) Say that I'm going in as usual, and be vague about the talk I went to when asked about my day. The only problem with this is my parents are probably going to be informed about all this at some point, so I'm gonna have to face my sister eventually.

C) Not mention the talk and just say my day was boring when asked.

D) Say I can't make the talk and ask to reschedule (they do give you an option to reschedule, so you can have a private talk with them later if you can't make the talk).

E) Not go, and not reschedule either. Well, that wouldn't be great because the talk could help me since if would give me the chance to talk to disability support face-to-face. But...I suppose I could always try and talk to them another time, somehow.

F) Similar to E, except also giving up on dyscalculia testing completely and just settle with never knowing for sure.

What do you think I should do? I hope this thread doesn't just go ignored with no replies.

 

What are you lost on?

 

This friday I am going to a talk on learner contracts (a contract that is drawn up between educators and a student, particularly a student who might otherwise struggle with their education) and also disability support (ranging from physical to mental help). They are related to one another because I commute to University daily from home and I live with my parents and sister. For the most part, this talk is optional but could potentially be useful to me and it's expected of me to attend (although it's unlikely that I would get in trouble for not doing so).

Now, my parents would approve of me looking into it- and they have often suggested that I do so. However, it's not them I'm concerned about. It's my sister. You see, my sister disapproves of me looking into testing because she;

a) believes my issues are caused by something else.

and

b) Fears that I might get picked on or isolated if I end up getting some kind of label. Her fear makes sense when you consider that she used to be bullied and has had negative experiences with people so she often jumps to the worst case scenario (me becoming isolated) and as an older sister to me she feels a certain amount of responsibility, there's also the fact she might worry that if it turns out that I do have it then I might feel defeated (although she's never said this, so this part is purely speculation).

My parents and my sister are both closely connected. Nearly everything they know, she is told. Hence my hesitation about telling my parents details about what the talk is about. If they know, then my sister will most likely be informed and she may try to deter me from proceeding any further with this.

Also, my sister is concerned that if I end up with this label, then some of my more negative behaviours might become encouraged. I should probably expand on this. You see, my parents are pretty convinced that I have dyscalculia- to the point where they draw attention to certain behaviours of mine and wonder if they are an extension of the condition (for even seemingly unrelated things) and personally I believe that it's a separate issue going on for some of my behaviour, but they find it easier to put all of my more bizarre behaviours under one category because it's easier to fathom.

She disapproves of this logic, and points out that some of her friends with similar conditions do not act like me, and she believes that a separate issue is going on. That's why she dislikes the idea of me going for testing, because if it turns out that I do have it, then my parents may continue excusing my (seemingly unrelated) behaviour and she doesn't believe that's healthy for me.

However, saying all that- I do think testing could be beneficial because if it turns out that I do need help than hopefully it will become easier to receive such help with my maths. Unfortunately, I failed my maths at GCSE level several times, but I'm hoping to achieve at least a pass level on an adult learner course.

...Hopefully this helped. If not, sorry about that.

 

Yes, the testing is for a learning disability.

Dyscalculia, to put simply, is basically dyslexia for numbers and it's a learning disability. (Sometimes referred to as numerical dyslexia). It translates literally to "counting badly". Which is quite fitting as it often causes difficulties with simple arithmetic (as well as retaining maths facts). Like dyslexia, there can be omissions, adding (in this case numbers not letters), and mixing up the order when reading (out a number in this case). 42 can become 24, 6 can be read as 9, ect. Trouble with reading clocks, understanding directions such as left and right, and understanding the concept of time tends to be common within dyscalculic individuals.

It is not an intellectual disability, as it does not affect general intelligence or functioning, and if Wikipedia is to be believed (Yeah, I know it's not the best of sources) then it often occurs in above average individuals (or at least, it's more likely to be diagnosed in such individuals, which makes sense in a way since if someone is considered below average then it's probable that most people would just pass off any potential signs of dyscalculia in that person as "Ah, well they are bad at most things anyway" and not look any further into it. But if someone is considered average or above average at quite a few things, then their difficulty in maths is more likely to stand out when compared to their skills in other areas. Plus, it's relatively unheard of among the general public and tends to be diagnosed by a specialist, which are hard to find, so many students who have it go undiagnosed), but it can occur anywhere on the IQ scale. Then again, IQ tests are often under controversy anyway, and then there's the multi-intelligence theory but that's probably a discussion best left to another thread.

 

Update:Well, I went to the talk today. I was vague about it to my parents, but I plan to inform them further down the line.

The talk went well. After it was over, I talked to this woman who has dyslexia and dyspraxia, and she was really understanding.

She said that she thinks dyscalculia is where dyspraxia was 20 years ago, and that hopefully with time it will gain more recognition.

It was good to finally talk to someone face to face who understands how annoying the diagnosis process can be. She explained what I have to do to get further along in the assessment process, so I'm feeling a bit more hopeful now.

 

Another update: I got in touch with the help-desk, and apparently I should expect a reply in two working days. If all goes well, then hopefully I will end up on the twelve (or more) weeks long waiting listing for testing.

 

Will do if I find out anymore about the situation.