So I posted a few weeks ago about my first real crush and since starting college last month I've hung out with this guy quite a bit. We hang out, get dinner, watch movies, go to parties and dance together... and we were talking on the phone a few nights ago and he said "Its really nice that we can hang out together and have fun without getting involved" I died a little. I understand just because we are both gay doesn't mean we will end up dating... but I really liked him and thought it was happening. At least what he said implies he enjoys my friendship but..... :icon_sad:
Have you ever expressed to him that you have feelings for him? Also, he might enoy your friendship now and later on start to develope feelings for you.
That does suck, but do you really know why he said that? Does he know you do have interest in taking it further - if not, is he really shooting you down? Maybe he was involved before and wants to take it easy for a bit? I dunno, just trying to keep your spirits up (*hug*) Maybe start talking to him about relationships, in a general sense.
i say caontinue with the friendship that will allways need to be the most important thing... and after a while you can tell him you have feelings...if hes a real friend and if he doesent share the feelings he will let you down gently and still want to be friends.... if he were to take it bad it jsut shows teh friend he is.. but take it slow and he may still develop things for you i know ive developed feelings for peopel i never thought i would and i didnt even mean too...tehy just never do so you never know take care and good luck
Curse the Friend Zone!!! But it's better to have a good friend forever than a relationship that may end and leave you two not being friends.
So I started looking at it in a different view. The way that he said this to me was like he enjoys hanging out with me but also that he specifically likes being able to do closer things usually restricted to people in a relationship or developing relationship like dancing. I mean when we grind its pretty sexual. Like rubbing up on each other and ass grabbing and getting down... that is mainly why I feel mislead and shocked at what he said.. because you don't do things like this (intimate and sexual things) repeatedly at several parties and such with someone you aren't interested in normally? So this must imply he is attracted to me, just not looking for a relationship. Does this make him potentially want more with me on a no strings attached basis? I mean, I don't want to sound whorey, but I'm not opposed to that. I'm almost 20 years old and never been sexual with a guy. its all that's EVER on my mind... EVER. it even distracts me from school work. Am I going down a bad road thinking like this? Or should I pursue it? Or should I maybe ask him to lunch and talk about his relationship life and about us or would that be too forward and shocking to him to ask him about?
As I said before, I think a conversation would be good. Not necessarily talking about 'you and him' right away, but go around the peripheries. So yeah, ask him about his past relationships, talk about how you haven't had one and really want to experience one and be close with another guy, etc. If the talk continues positively, then you could go to the next step.
Have you ever just thought about being honest with him. You could always just tell him how you feel, and tell him that your not really asking for a relationship with him but just had to let him know.
