SexValues quiz

https://sexvalues.github.io/results...=90.6&dominant=16.7&deviance=56.3&affect=25.0

(Not sure how others are getting the graph!)

Umm, seems fair as a gay versatile bottom! I had several FwBs as a teen, went mono-hetero for years, and I'm open to being open - indeed my boyfriend is a part of an open relationship so I guess I am by proxy even if I don't happen to be seeing anyone else at the moment.

 

I've actually taken it twice and my results have changed since the first time not quite three years ago. Not a whole lot, but still noticeably in some ways.

 

Could be both. Recently, I have been more interested in men sexually, but by and large, since first taking the quiz, my preference has been and continues to be for women. As for the rest of it, I chalk it up to getting older and the life experiences that comes with it. Maybe if I take it again in the future, my answers will change again, however, as consistent as my results were, I don't expect to see a drastic shift in any direction, but realistically probably won't take it again.

 

I could never have experienced the same emotional intensity with a woman as I do with a gay man. So much so when I started to give in to my gay desires I said to myself this is the point of no return. And the longer I gave into my gay desires the more and more it distanced me from wanting a relationship with women. I'm happily comfortable now with being totally gay, but one thing I have to say is, I'm genuinely masculine into weight training, sports, cars etc I don't like the stereotype of being a gay man, which is why I will remain in the closet for a long while, I see no reason to come out. But I think same sex relationships are stronger because they connect with each other better than mixed relationships.

 

Oh yeah, wow, i like this direction and will go a step further.

For me, all of the factors in the test (some more than others) can be affected by how recently i have actually had an orgasm. i think refractory would figure in to this test significantly, so maybe try taking the test after a period of abstinence, then taking it again soon after an orgasm (i.e., during peak refractory) and see if the results differ? my guess is guys will see a bigger variation than women, because refractory is different in women than in men... indeed, some postulate that women do not have a "refractory" period.

Subjectively, my psychosexual wiring is such in my identifying as "total bottom with sub guy," that i don't actually want to orgasm as part of my connection and relationship with a "Total Top with dom Man." (lol, all those words have particular meaning for me). To me, sex is about deep connection and, ideally, bonding. In that context, i idealize orgasm as a shared experience where i share my Mates orgasm vs having a separate one of my own. A big driver of that is all those things, listed in the test, that we connect on when compatible, shift in intensity for me during refractory... almost like a pause button.
i'd be curious to see how other guys test is affected before and after orgasm/refractory.

 

i appreciate your comments and distinctions. i'm often chagrinned at having to 'come out' once again when a woman at works shows some sort of romantic interest. To me, it's really obvious that i'm gay (duh, lol), but apparently not to everyone else.

i go to the gym every other day, practiced martial arts for 25 years, broken ribs from sparring, restored houses doing all the construction myself, drove beater pickups while doing that, now i drive fast 2 seater sports cars.

i don't sport a beard or wear red flannel though, i 'manscape' cause i don't wanna be hairy, i'm going for lean vs bulk at the gym, and wanna have a behind that attracts Guys because i'm totally receptive... and most of the people i know would be shocked if they knew. i want to be known, but i want to be accepted for who and how i am too. So i can understand guys who are in your face, damn the torpedos, but can also understand a sorta self acceptance that maintains a closet space.

None of those things are affectations for me, they are simply how i am and how i want to present. i do wonder about some of the behavior stereotypically associated with being gay is more an effort to be seen and identified simply as 'gay' more than it being actual attributes? That's a real question, and my guess is it comes down to the individual.

A part of me wishes everyone knew i'm gay because i feel i may be missing out on possible connection with guys who do not see me as available. i wonder how many adopt stereotypical behavior for that reason (among others)? On the other hand, i have also experienced being treated with bias, people hiding their true feelings of bias against gays, when they know i'm gay vs not. And i'd rather deal with the real person than be accommodated.

One of the results of my own self acceptance has been to question and continuously examine my, and general, notions of masculinity and femininity. For instance, there are Top and Dom women, attributes typically associated with masculinity or maleness. my ideas of masculinity and femininity have broadened and morphed... and continue to do so.

 

On this topic, I had a funny convrrsation with my wife the other day. She asked me that if we were not together, would I be interested in a romantic relationship with a man. I answered confidently "yes". She was like, "wouldn't that be too much of the same thing, too much masculinity"?. I just gave het a funny look like, "too much? do you know how much crap I go through to try to figure out how women think?" LOL. Things would likely be much simpler on an intelectual and emotional level with another guy. Of course, everybody is a pain in the neck sometimes.

BTW, I try to ignore the stereotypical gay guy themes. There seem to be only two: hyper effeminate guy in seudo womens cloths and eyeliner, hyper masculine guy with mustache and leather chaps. LOL. Most of us same sex attracted guys don't stand out in a crowd and I am attracted to the subtle but determined masculine guys.

 

I've never really understood the whole concept of not understanding how the opposite sex thinks. I heard about it a lot growing up but it never made much sense to me.

Frankly, if we have shared interests then we're probably going to get on and understand each other. Granted, my friend group is heavily neurodivergent and not very straight. So, that probably factors into it.

 

Although, in a way I do get it. I know that there have been times where I've been in almost entirely male spaces and I've felt a sense of 'this is nice but I wish there were women here, it just feels lacking somehow'.

Sometimes I think about when I came out to someone and she told me 'I figured. You have the wrong energy for me to imagine you with a man'. I wonder now and then what she meant by that statement.