My wife and I have been on a path toward separation. I have had sexuality awakening and it has led to our sex life diminishing. My wife has had a very hard time with that feeling like she isn't enough etc. She initiated the separation because I have been on the fence for so long about whether I "need" a relationship with a man. Anyway, today took an unexpected turn. My wife said she has come to be okay with the idea of us inviting a man into our bedroom, on a regular basis to see if that helps fill a need for me (and possibly for her too). I have no idea how to respond to that. Part of me is relieved by the idea of staying together but also getting to experience a level of intimacy with a man and part of me was ready to graduate from marriage and be able to explore and grow in understanding of my sexuality on my own. Anyone have any thoughts or advice?
I think sometimes one partner in a relationship reluctantly suggests this type of thing because they fear the relationship ending. I can't imagine it working out long-term. More likely it would just lead to more complications, jealousies and feelings of inadequacy on her part. I think the fact that you describe marriage as something from which you wish to "graduate" means that that's what you should do.
"Ethical non-monogamy" - basically where both people are aware of it and have agreed conditions in advance.
ENM isn’t for everyone, but maybe it’s worth a try so you know for sure? It might not be a bad idea to try everything first before separating officially from your wife, but only you know for sure if it’s worth staying or time to go. If you’re really not sure to stay or go, I think it’s worth trying everything first before making your exit. Things will likely become more clear with time.
Thank you Colm, you are right and after discussing it further with my wife we both decided that it was unlikely to give either of us the outcome we desire.
Thank you for your thoughts. After some more discussion, we decided that it isn't the right move for us.
