Before I start complaining about my life, a disclaimer: I'm not totally sure if this really belongs here instead of in general support and advice, but whatever I was reading, of all things, a Hunger Games fanfic when I was struck by the thought that I might never get to the point of being able to be intimate with someone because of my gender. I am not a brave person, I am a coward who puts on a false persona every morning because I'm afraid of trying to be me. I might never get around to really working on any kind of transition simply because I don't have the strength to open up about this to the people who can help me, and because of that, I can't really have a real, loving relationship with anyone. I can't love someone and be in a relationship with them but not be myself around them, becuase that's not a real relationship, but I don't have the courage be myself around much of anyone, and therin lies the dilemma. I have no idea what to do. I want to believe that I will find a way to be happy, but I feel so lost and hopeless right now, and I'm scared that I'll never find a way.
