ok....i know what i am and i like it( GAY MAN) but im afraid that if i tell my family i wont be accepted the way i am now. im in a relationship with an awesome guy!! hes great but he keeps asking me when im going to introduce him to my family. i really want to, i want them to enjoy him as much as i do but i dont want to be the blacksheep of my family. at the same time im afraid that if i dont tell them that our relationship will forever be strained because of it. im really having a hard time....its been this way now for about 4 years and i cannot take this pressure from either side anymore.. HELP!!!!:icon_sad: :help:
Hey welcome to EC 1st of all:wave; Well, theer is nothing more important than love and happiness, I say you shoot forward for your relationship Many reason, if you believe that thsi is true love, then protect it by any cost, or else you wont ever feel happy again. You are 21 now, I think you have enough strngth for that. I know family is important, but if you let them step into your way then you will lose your love, and it turns out you are the one who ifeels sad and so your boyfriend I think your fdamily wont reject you , you are your parents's son. Tho they may be shocked and maybe also freaked out, mad at you for the 1st time, but time will make them understand, because parents have to care about the happiness of their children. And yeah, you are 21 now, you and your boyfriend can stan don your owns, and can make a happy life, so take tiem to come out to yoru family, coem out when you are ready, love is strong, nothign can stop it, it may seem to be hard, but you'll get thru Thathappened to my mom, bf wehen she was young, he only listen to his family tho he loved her alot, then it turned out they were not together so my dad stepped in, and so they lost their 1st love, it was not happy at all
Well I would say it's time to come out to your parents. You sure don't want to lose a special relationship and if he has waited four years, he's been extremely patient! I always offer this, but I will happily send you PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) to help educate your parents. Just PM me with your address.
Parents are always hard to tell. Speaking from personal expierence, You should work your way through the family telling them one by one on, if and only if you want to. For each person you tell you might need to say something different. Tell them about your relationship and reassure them you are the same person. This isnt a bad thing. -Oh and welcome to EC
This is an on going problem and will be a problem untill you tell your parents. You have to wait untill you are ready of course but sooner or later you will have to do it because otherwise you risk to lose your man, and the next one and the next one after that. Take Becky's offer of help, she helped me enormously recently when my son came out to me. There are resources on this site which will help you understand what your parents will feel. Yes your parents will certainly be shaken and upset, this thing is coming at them out of the blue, but once they get over the shock, there is no reason for them not to accept you and love you as you are. As a mum all I want for my children is for them to live happy, fulfilled lives where they can be themselves and grow into the people they are meant to be. I feel honoured that my son felt he could tell me and didn't waste years of his life hidding from me. I feel proud that, against all of societies prejudices, he has accepted himself for who he is. I don't know your parents so I can't say how they will react but I am sure that the love they have for you will help them come to terms, maybe not straight away but eventually, with your homosexuality. Until you have told your parents they have a certain image of you in their minds, this image is based on false assumptions which all parents, all over the world' make about their children. Your parents almost certainly have hopes and dreams for you, all these are based again on false assumptions. Only you can set them straight on this and help them to rebuild thier hopes and dreams for you, but this time based on reality. Of course the little boy in you is scared, who wouldn't be but this is something that has changed your entire life. Not telling your parents amounts to, on a certain level, not fully assuming your sexual identity which I can understand could be hurtful to your boyfriend. You are not alone, you have the friends who you have told, you have a man who loves you very deeply and now you have EC, you can do this. Take your time, don't rush things, the first thing is to take the decision to tell your parents and accept this decision, then you can move on to HOW to bring up the subject, when this is clear in your mind you can go on to WHEN. Once these questions have an answer you have your 'plan of action' .You can do this, with of course the support of your boyfriend, friends and EC. We are all behind you rooting for you.
Hi and welcome to EC I think you should take on board all the advice given above. We're all naturally scared of delivering any form of bombshell to our parents but the duration of the "shock" is nothing compared to the length of future time spent feeling relieved. You'll end up thinking to yourself, "why did I wait so long?" You've got a great boyfriend by what you've said. When you're ready show him how committed you are to his loyalty and go for it. We're all here for you. (*hug*)
