Allow me to apologize in advance; this is going to be a lengthy post. I'm just looking for some objective opinions on my situation. Here's the background information. I let a guy (boyfriend at the time) talk me into moving into an $800 apartment, not including any utilities. We broke up, and I was stuck with this lease and found myself in a very tight spot. The guy I dated after him moved in with me not long after and helped out some, but I needed a roommate. I didn't really know anybody where I was living, so I took to Craig's List to see if I could find anyone decent. I lucked out. I found a girl named Ashley that I got along with and shared similar interests. She moved in and signed onto my lease. My boyfriend and I moved to a town about two and a half hours away after a month or so of her living there. We told her about this upfront, and she was fine with it. We moved in May. I have continued to pay half of the rent and utilities even while living two hours away. About a month ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. He went there to visit a couple times; I told both of them that I would prefer he didn't stay in my room while he was there. He said that was childish and demanded an explanation. I told him I pay for that room and it doesn't matter whether or not I sleep there; I get to decide who sleeps in my bed. My reasoning doesn't matter, and I don't have to justify myself to him. Somewhere along the way, the two of them (my roommate and now ex-boyfriend) became close and are wanting to get a place together in that city. Consequently, my roommate wants out of the lease. This is the conversation we had yesterday about it. I've removed her last name and my ex's name for privacy reasons. My parts of the conversation are in blue. You can click the thumbnails to enlarge them. So what do you think? Am I being an asshole? I just don't want to risk her bringing in someone who is irresponsible. I am still accountable for that apartment, and I don't want to have to pay for damages that I didn't cause.
You're not being unreasonable at all. You're fulfilling your obligation by paying for the place even though you aren't living there. Your roommate isn't understanding your situation, though I can see why she wants a way she can get off the lease. Dumb question: Have you considered talking to the landlord about what could be done to end the lease early? Is the complex mostly rented, or are there a lot of vacant units? If it's mostly full, they should be able to rerent it and let you out of your lease, perhaps for a fee, but that might still be better than having to deal with the uncertainty. That would be where I'd go first in trying to resolve this. I know you know it already, but I'll say it for the benefit of people who haven't been there and done that: When you sign a lease for, say, a year... you are committing to pay whatever monthly rent for a year. This means you can't just decide you want to leave, stop paying, get a different place, or anything else. A lot of people simply don't understand this when they sign a lease. For that reason, it's a really bad idea to rent a place with someone else where it takes both of you together to afford the place. Even if you are best of friends... a good friend of mine just had a really good friend of his move in with him, and after only 2 months... it was clear it wasn't working. Not only did it make the living situation uncomfortable, it damaged the friendship. If you must rent a place with others, try to negotiate with the landlord for a clause to let you out of the lease if you have to leave. Offer a month's rent or some other incentive to make it worthwhile if you have to do it. This will give you an "out" if things don't work.
