I recently posted this on another thread, pretty much just a vent but still very much frustrating. Feel like I cannot have a successful relationship with anyone. so I was doing so well accepting myself. Not so much anymore. Now.. I 100% only want to date women and I 100% only want to have sex with men.. SMH Lol I am too tired and almost getting too old for this stuff.. One thing that always holds true is my sexual attraction usually stands firm. But sometimes my romantic attraction shifts. Sometimes I get really turned on by the thought of dating men annnnnnd then that just goes away and I'm totally repulsed by the idea of dating men... I have been dealing with this since beginning of puberty and I am now 31..
It may be a problem of categories and generalizations. Until you find one specific man, a real individual with both a penis and a personality, any notion of a romantic relationship with a man will remain abstract and uncertain. Ultimately, it's a matter of imagination, of imagining very specific things and scenarios that you would be doing when dating a man...you may be surprised at how you feel about it....
I guess that could be possible... I am also not very accepting of myself as well.. I felt like I was getting somewhere with accepting myself and my sexuality and then I totally retracted emotionally.. Not by choice it just happened.
Maybe you have to look at it in terms of real individuals rather than the abstract concept of "men" or "women". If you're like trying to imagine dating a generic guy, it seems like a really hard approach to sorting out reality; if you're actually going on dates with guys, maybe you'll have a better idea of what you feel in reality. So maybe you should start by actually trying out going on dates. Also don't negate your entire journey by saying you're back to square one. I'm betting that that's not really the case, and you've come a long way even though it doesn't feel like it.
