My dad came from a very abusive household, and overcompensated by never touching us in ANY way. So he made sure he never hurt us, but was very distant as a result. He was also a high school football hero and seemed a little uncomfortable around me, since I was very clearly not what he was expecting his oldest son to be. In the end, though, I ended up being his main caretaker and help as his health deteriorated, and while we didn't see eye to eye on many things, we came to understand each other. I actually miss him, which I really didn't expect to happen.
The theory that you are talking about here was championed by Freud, and just like all of his theories, we now have enough research on this specific area to know that parenting style have no effect on sexuality. I can't find the citation right now, but I will link to the study later today Oh, and the opposite for women does exist by the way. Freud called it "penis envy". That, like the theory you are talking about, has also been proven to be completely false. There has been some research on the matter, and the most likely conclusion is that it has a lot do to with epigenitics. In lame terms, its the combination of certain genes rather than one single gene that makes the "change". This means that it would be near impossible for evolution to get "rid of" homosexuality. That being said, we don't have an answer, but I just wanted to let you know that there are various theories out there that try to answer your question. As for me, I have a very good relationship with my dad and it got even better after I came out. He has always been there for me, he has always been a loving dad, and he has always supported my sis and I with anything we needed. And with that I'm still gay
My father came from a large and rather "formal" family, and it's something he worked on changing when he started his own family...with modest success. He still has trouble hugging people and telling people "I love you". He used to tell us kids "I love you" every night, and in retrospect, I could tell he was forcing himself to do so. I never doubted the words, because his actions always backed it up, but it went heavily against his upbringing to get really close to his offspring, so it was very uncomfortable for him. I definitely don't hold any of that against him, and if anything, I give him a lot of credit for trying to change. Our relationship is fine, with no issues between us. We don't hang out much or anything, as we don't have a ton of stuff in common, but during family get-togethers, or when I take him out for his birthday, there's no awkwardness or anything. As far as the theory, yeah, I don't think it's accurate in most cases, and especially not true in mine. And it may actually HAVE an evolutionary aspect - it may be nature's way of attempting to "put the brakes on" uncontrolled population growth. I mean, it's not like we're hurting for human beings right now, so the increase in homosexuality may be nature trying to say "Woah, slow down there, humanity." Lex
It was good until my parents had a bitter divorce. They played Ping-Pong with my emotions during the custody battle. There were things that happened that took a long time to heal. My dad and I have built an adult friendship finally. It's a bit distant but genuine.
I can't answer any of the questions in the poll. Due to an early divorce, I never grew up with my own dad, and my 5-year experience with a stepfather was a disaster (for me). The stepfather died in a car accident in 1972, my own father died 2 years ago; we never really had any relationship beyond the occasional phone call. Can't say I miss something that I never had...
I don't consider my biological father (mother's first husband) to be anything close to fatherly- haven't heard from him in years so to me he's nothing but a sperm donor. What he gets for rejecting his own damn kids in favor of religion. My stepdad's who I've always considered to be my dad, so I used him for the poll. We're not as close as we used to be (much of that's my fault, I've pushed people away) but he's been the one there for me. Been told I was half the reason he married my mother- apparently was that adorable. He's religious but has, for the most part, accepted me as being queer. But never the less, not looking forward to testing that when I come out as trans*.
I hate him for abusing me verbally and emotionally, for being a control freak, for being a misogynist, for having a low opinion of women, for being condescending, rude and disrespectful, and for just being an asshole in general.
Not much of a relationship with mine. He was an alcoholic and my parents divorced when I was 8. I would talk to him on the phone and see him occasionally even though he only lived about 3 miles from me. Called him one time when I was 11 and someone unfamiliar answered and said he didn't live there anymore. I never saw him again. My mother and brothers and I lived with my grandparents. Everyone always said what a great man my grandfather was, but I was terrified of him and don't feel like I really knew him. He wasn't mean or anything, just really quiet and I guess I just never bonded with him. My mother was lonely and would bring me into her bed after she came home from her dates. She never did anything sexually to me, but a kid being forced into that situation is bound to lead to some confusion. This lasted until I was about 14 or so. She is very needy...still. I had thought of girls and found them attractive when I first entered puberty, and even in elementary school, but started noticing the boys about 16 or so, and really being freaked out by it. Never had any kind of relationship and never really got close to anyone until my early 20's. Then spent 4-5 years in therapy to get fixed. I was really confused because I never felt like I "always knew I was gay". I ended up getting married and had 2 kids and divorced eventually. I never had a gay relationship and likely won't. The point to this is my confusion in how environmental factors may influence sexuality. I just don't know. To me it seems it may have. I wonder if these things didn't happen if I would have been straight. Before my sperm donor abandoned me and my brothers I was very outgoing and popular in school, and later became very introverted. Any therapist I have talked to has told me my parents didn't make me gay, especially my mother. I still wonder.
