Hello i consider myself as a bisexual. Right now im a relationship with a girl. We've been together for 5 years. At first we were happy and inlove until my gf got married. But before that, we both agreed that we will still be a couple. It's very hard on my part because i feel insecure and jealous all the time and that is the cause of our argument. We always fight every week and i know it is not healthy for our relationship but we still both love each other. I know there are some couples out there who are experiencing the same situation like mine. I just want some advice on how can I bring back what we had with my gf. We're both tired fighting but still want this relationship to last. I want to make her feel special again,i just dont know how. And I need some advice on how to manage my insecurities and jealousy. Can someone help me with my problems?
I wouldn't even know where to begin to try and "help". clearly you brought this all on yourself by trying to continue a relationship with someone that's married to someone else. calling a married woman your girlfriend isn't a good idea by any stretch of the imagination. why put yourself through that kind of torture? you clearly need to move on. sorry to sound so judgemental, but saying anything that would condone what you're putting yourself through over her would be in no way helpful to you.
I agree with purple. I don't think you'll ever feel secure in that situation. Move on and find someone who will be yours and only yours.
I have to agree with the above. She didn't have to get married. She chose to, and you chose to try and still be with her. It's not working out, so you should either move on or ask her if she really wants to stay in such a marriage.
I agree with above. Open marriages and polyamory are one thing, but that doesn't sound like what this is. In order for it to work, there has to be communication, boundaries, and everyone has to be comfortable with the arrangement. I imagine the spouse doesn't even know there is an arrangement and you're clearly not comfortable with your girlfriend being married (?!) to someone else. Out of curiosity, how did that happen? Was it a sort of arranged marriage?
---Thank you all for you advice. And yes im not comfortable with our set up. We're both not out. Our family doesn't know about our relationship,all they know is that we're bestfriends but one of my friend knows about my status. She's straight but went to an exclusive school and fell in love with me. Pls dont judge us. She wants to have a baby that's why she got married,but she's not successful having a baby. We both know this is all wrong,her husband doesn't know about our relationship and we decided to stay in this relationship but the problem is we dont talk that much anymore and all we did is to argue. And yes im stupid enough to stay but that's how i love her. I know im not the only one in this kind of situation. Im a bisexual and sooner or later im getting married as well. I just dont want our relationship to end. Thank you all for your advice.
How do you think her husband would feel about all this? It seems like she is using him as a glorified sperm donor!
I'm not judging you, I just think it's clear that this isn't a good situation for all involved. I think you need to take some time and think about what you want before having a serious talk with your girlfriend. Are there any changes either of you can make that would help this situation? If not, I can't see it getting any better. What do you think is going to happen if she gets pregnant when the baby's born? Were the two of you hoping to raise it together? Because I have a feeling her husband might have a problem with that.
Does she even love her husband ? Putting the whole story apart, I would have a HUGE problem with being with someone who would have no remorse getting in a relationship with a man, marrying said man JUST to have a baby while cheating on him in his back with another woman for 5 years. Does this woman have any morals at all ? Does she actually think about that future baby who instead of coming into a loving family will be brought into this world in the middle of a messed up relationship ? I am sorry OP but I can't see anything positive in this woman/your relationship, as hard as it may sound. You say you are bisexual and sooner or later you'll be getting married ? what makes you think that ? I mean supposedly you are in love with this woman so why do you already see yourself with someone else ? is it to do the same thing as her ? Marry someone to have a kid while cheating on him with a woman ? To be honest I am baffled and saddened by that post. I don't necessarily condemned cheating (even though I definitely do not support it either) but this is the kind of things that feed the stereotype that bisexuals are people who will play with both people's feelings, settle down in a straight relationship (nothing wrong with that if you do it for love and not for sperm donation) and cheat on their partner with the other sex. Sorry but it's true and it's unfortunately exactly what you two are doing. Nowadays there is many ways to have a baby that doesn't involve having to marry a man, if she truly loved you she would consider other ways to have a baby and raise this child with you not with a man she doesn't seem to like or respect much. Sorry if my whole post sounds harsh but the whole baby thing definitely made me lost all sympathy for your 'girlfriend'. Good luck to you anyway !
