Before you go on this is NSFW, fair warning OK, so I'm going to try to explain this in as short as I can. When I was younger, like 11, I would look at straight pornography, and I was able to get off to it. About a month later I was looking at some comics on Tumblr, and as I started going through profiles, I found some homosexual stuff and since then I get off to that. The problem is now that I look at straight stuff again, 3 years later, there is just no attraction at all, and it almost makes my stomach churn. And to add, whenever I take in the idea of actually having gay sex It sounds repulsive. I don't know what to think anymore. Any ideas to what's going on?
You watch gay porn, but thinking of having gay sex yourself is repulsive? Are you dealing with shame for your interests perhaps?
I accept lgbt people, I always have. I even have a pansexual sister and mother. But because of what I've said above I can't even gather the guts to come out. I'm really not sure what I am at this point and if Im wrong now it could lead to an awkward conversation if I change it all of a sudden later.
You are allowed to change your mind. You are constantly changing and realizing who you are as your get older. Conversations are awkward, the person you are talking to will probably understand how awkward it is and be happy you are trusting them with such information.
It is ok to not know who you are or what you like yet. You are doing great for acknowledging all of these thoughts. They will help you sort them out
How old are you? It's OK to not have all the answers. Please don't stress out. Sounds like your family will support you, and you live in NJ, so it's all good! Just start exploring these thoughts and feelings and see where it leads.
If the only thing that is informing your mind that you might be gay is watching gay porn, then you are potentially confusing yourself further. Your interests in gay porn is interesting but not especially enlightening. Porn is a poor indicator of sexuality because it's designed to elicit a sexual response, whether you are gay or not. It sounds like you're still pretty young. I would suggest waiting to "come out" until you have some more clarity on your attractions. You don't mention being attracted to any guys in your life, or guys that you see in real life. If you've never experienced attraction to guys, but only get aroused watching gay porn, then it's quite possible you are not gay, just horny. There's no hurry - take your time. You'll figure yourself out. Take care.
I'm just about 15, I will be in a few days. As for some other questions I don't feel much attraction in real life to either. I noticed that without thinking I will try to impress girls around me and I feel quite timid around them, and as for guys I do the same but I'm more just trying to be friendly. But I notice no attraction, just inadvertantly doing things like that. It's hard for me because while everyone else is figuring things out, getting girlfriends and such, I'm just stuck in the in between where I don't know what to do. I feel if I don't figure it out soon I'll be left behind with this kinda stuff, because while everyone else is testing waters and will know what to do in the future, I will have no idea.
You are young. I don't mean to sound patronizing, and I know kids are way more "advanced" these days. But give yourself time. Maybe experiment with both? Might be easier in college than high school.
