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Read my poem please? :)

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Technology' started by aceofnoise23, May 18, 2011.

  1. aceofnoise23

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    Okay, so I've been like really inspired lately. I just needed to write this... if you guys think it's good maybe I"ll write some more?

    His Camisado

    I wanted to be with him.
    With relaxing sky blue oases in his eyes,
    My worries would flow away like a river.
    He won me over with his compassion,
    That erased the writing on my blackboard of thoughts.
    He changed me with a winning smile
    That made a permanent imprint on my mind.
    Then the plane took off,
    And I flew off into my imagination.
    And to this day I wonder what his name was.


    Any suggestions?
     
  2. cardenio

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    That is a great poem. Really.

    Please do keep writing. I would love to read more. :slight_smile:
     
  3. ilovedogs9

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    This is really good. :slight_smile: I enjoyed reading it.
     
  4. borntosurvive

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    This is actually really a beautiful piece of poetry. Excellent job!
     
  5. aceofnoise23

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    Thanks all. I was actually thinking about submitting this to my school's art magazine (poems and short stories too!) But then I realized an all-guys school wouldn't accept (most likely) a homosexual love poem, and it wouldn't be the same to me if I changed it. :/