i dont even really know where to start. i am finally to the place in life where ive always dreamed to be, but it seems like my brain just wont stop. i know that my mental/emotional issues just don't disappear but for a while i felt like i was getting better. healthier even. but rn ive never felt this low in years. ive been on a cross-country road trip with my girlfriend for the last 3 months but we had to come back home during the holidays. i just dont know how im not gonna spiral especially since its the holidays and i have no family. i feel like i was finally neing able to do what ive always dreamed of, only to be knocked back. i know that my depression and anxiety about being home/finacial issues and not on the road is starting to affect my relationship. im definitely a lot more tired, not willing to do anything, and my attitude hasnt been the best. i just wanna get out of this slump. i just dont know if anythings worth it anymore. i dont know how to make these feelings stop. i can barely find the motivation to get out of bed jn the morning, most days i wake up at 2pm and stay up until 6am. i really dont think i can feel this anymore ugh if u read this im sorry for ranting lol i just want to be happy and grateful for what i have but its so hard
It's okay to rant. It's better than keeping all those feelings inside you and that's what I have been doing. Holidays are always nerve wracking, especially if you have to worry about finances and can't do the things you want or be with the people you want to be with and it can get rough. I always say the most important things in all relationships is communication. If it all starts affecting your relationship, then communicate and try to find a solutions or compromises to your worries. Of course it's not easy, but it has to be done. Maybe you and your partner would benefit from therapy, if there are problems with communication and there are depression and anxiety too. I can definetly relate to having depression and anxiety too and worrying about finances and it can get very overwhelming, but I'm sure there are solutions for that. I hope it will work out for you both.
