1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Questions about my sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Javy, May 29, 2020.

  1. Javy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2020
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hello all,

    To start off I dislike labels. However, I believe I'm bi. Anyhow, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now and in the past month I've been wanting to have sex with a guy. With that being said, how does this being bi work?

    I do not mean to offend anyone with my ignorance.

    But while i'm making love to my g/f (i enjoy making love to my g/f) I want think about having sex with a guy i had sex with before. This has led me to consider ending my relationship and be free. Explore a poly type relationship and be happy. Is this crazy talk? Any suggestions?
     
  2. Revive

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2020
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think it's best to talk about it with your girlfriend. I believe if you are close, you can always discuss things like this. Maybe she wants to experiment being in a polyamorous relationship as well. If you can't talk about it or she's nog into it, I think it's best to chose for yourself. Is being in a relationship withholding you from what you want? Or is it maybe some fantasy you have, that can also be satisfied by only thinking about having sex with other people?
     
  3. BiGemini87

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    338
    Likes Received:
    186
    Location:
    Petawawa, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I guess it really depends. I fantasize about sexual encounters with other women now and again, but I personally have no intentions of seeking it out in real-life, because I'm quite happy in my committed relationship. For me, the fantasies on their own are enough.

    However, if you don't feel this reflects your feelings--if you genuinely feel like you need to get out there--I would be open and honest with your girlfriend on the matter. It might be hurtful to her, or it might be something she too would like to experiment with. Perhaps, if she agrees to it, you can be in an open relationship: wherein you stay with your girlfriend, but you're both free to explore sexual relationships elsewhere.

    But again, this is something I would think on very seriously before even proposing it. Really take into consideration how you feel about your girlfriend, how your relationship with her is and your levels of happiness; is exploring that side of yourself worth letting her go, if she isn't okay with an open relationship? Or could you still be happy with her, regardless? Is there some other means of exploring this on a temporary basis that won't hurt your relationship (without being dishonest; I don't recommend being unfaithful)?

    The choice is ultimately yours. Only you can determine what course to take. I hope this has given you something to think about, at least. :slight_smile:
     
    LostInDaydreams likes this.
  4. Javy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2020
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You know I think I may be choosing for myself. I say I love her and I feel I do but value does that have if I'm not sure if I love myself 100%. The idea of just being single and really thinking about who i'am and what I want out of live is keeping me awake. It's definitely more than a fantasy.... i really think my days of being with her are coming to an end. I'm constantly moody and not happy.
     
  5. Javy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2020
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Being unfaithful is definitely not an option. I'm leaning towards just ending the relationship. I was single for two years prior to starting this relationship and I was happier. I kept myself busy and productive. Apart from all this frustration in being in this relationship I've gained a weight and just lost motivation. As time passes we have less and less sex. (but when we do its great) Another, thing that I've never had happen before is being turned on when i see my penis lol. (i'm going crazy i swear) it reminds me of a previous (male) partner and how natural and good that felt.

    Anyways....

    I want to go back to by single life and later on explore what poly is all about.
     
  6. Franz007

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2017
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    For me it sounds a bit like you could never imagine talking about your fantasy with her if you want to end that relationship straight forward. Is that true?
     
    #6 Franz007, Jun 7, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
  7. Franz007

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2017
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    And no, i don‘t think it‘s that unusual to be attracted by its own penis. I am the same ;-) And i bet most men would like to suck their own penis if they could.
     
  8. Javy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2020
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I probably won't tell her. Honestly, yes I'm leaning towards ending the relationship.
     
  9. Franz007

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2017
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ok i can understand your situation. I was a bit in the same situation and we even divorced. I was then free and happy to experience Gaysex again. On the other side i could not say that i was really happy because i still needed a relationship to a woman then. I had a few girlfriends and some rare adventures with women but mostly Gay encounters, where i never felt any emotional attraction and those encounters never satisfied me emotionally. But i had some great sex with them.

    At the end its difficult to say, there are pros and cons of being „free“ ;-)
     
  10. Javy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2020
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Understood. It was just the first time i look at my penis in that way. lol.
     
  11. Javy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2020
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yes for sure. Man at this point only time will tell what happy means for me. I just feel its not fair for her and for me to be unhappy. We constantly argue and get on each others nerves.

    I need the time for me to keep growing.
     
  12. Franz007

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2017
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    31
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Wish you good luck.